Trust once broken is hard to repair

Trust once broken is hard to repair

Have you ever stopped to think about what trust is about and how much you value it?  Trust is a key ingredient for a good relationship.  The relationship can be of many different types – a lover, friend, parent, child, colleague.  Each of these relationships are very different in content and benefit to each other.  However you need to trust the other person’s behaviour; it needs to be reliable and consistent.  Mutual trust is a foundation stone in any relationship.

When the behaviour of one party in the relationship is not as expected, the other person will have doubt and uncertainty.  If the unexpected behaviour is confirmed, this can quickly move to feelings of betrayal and hurt.  At this point the trust in the relationship is broken.

Elephants have a long memory and will recognise kind and unkind people even after considerable time has elapsed.  It is the same with humans.  Once you have broken trust with someone, it is very hard to repair it.  No matter how hard you try, the other person will most likely still have doubts about you.  It is far better not to break the trust in the first place.

This does not mean that you brush difficulties under the carpet.  Sometime to retain trust you need to have some difficult but honest conversations.  Even if this finally results in a relationship coming to an end, maintaining the integrity of the relationship with honesty and trust will make the parting easier.  You will be able to look back on the relationship and the person with kindness rather than distrust.

Ensuring you maintain your honesty in all you say and do builds trust.  Trust is so important in a healthy relationship, it is to be valued, cherished and nurtured.  Two people together in a trusting relationship can work miracles in their everyday life.

Some people are very open and trusting.  Others come slowly to trust.  You should follow the approach you feel comfortable with.  However relationships are the essence of life so being able to trust is a key element for happiness.  As the saying goes;

‘It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’.  

It is the same with trust.  You may have had a bad experience with an individual but remember not everyone is the same.  You can come to trust another.  My motto is that it is more life enriching to trust and be trusted than to remain alone.

Dedicated to my mother and the wonderful two little boys in our family who represent the next generation arriving.