Our children are often the dearest people in our hearts. We put a lot of time and effort into raising them. We want to know that they can have a good life ahead of them. No matter the age of your children, you never stop being a parent and wanting the best for them.
What can a parent do to help safe-guard their children?
By the nature of living in a changing world, the greatest gift for your child to not only survive within it but to thrive, is being flexible. Careers and jobs are no longer for life. Everyone expects to change them in a life time with a possible geographic move thrown in as well. Technology is moving fast and impacting our lives. Those who do not adopt it and take the best from it, are in danger of being left behind.
Are you being a good role model on flexibility?
While children are growing up, they tend to love routines and structure. These may well be useful and practical for maintaining a family schedule for times to eat and go to bed. But it is also useful to teach your children that changing the schedule is good if it leads to a better place or their environment necessitates it.
This is sometimes easier said than done. My son as a child loved his familiar routine. If we went on holiday, he would not change either the time to eat or sleep. It was a nightmare when we might want to stay out later to enjoy an evening walk or a meal. However, I do feel I brought this on myself. When it was just him and me at home, our lives ran better when we followed a schedule. When his baby sister arrived, we did not have this luxury. I still had to take and collect my son from school. The baby had to learn to wait for a feed or to sleep in her push chair if our family schedule necessitated it. My observation is my daughter grew up coping with being flexible more than my son.
As parents you want to warn your children of the inherent dangers in life. You may encourage them not to talk to strangers when they are little. When they grow older you warn them not to drink too much, to study and work hard, to manage their money carefully.
In all of this there is a danger you make your children fearful. It is important that they remain as curious about the world around them as they were as a baby and toddler.
There is a fine line between following your curiosity and safety
Curiosity keeps you engaged in the world and therefore informed on what may be upcoming in the future. With an understanding of upcoming changes, your children get the chance to consider what it will mean to them and to seek the benefits but mitigate the negatives. This gives them time to prepare and adapt to the changes.
An example of this today maybe Artificial Intelligence (AI). There is much fear around this topic from the risk of it being abused by powerful people and institutions. If this should happen, many people could be impacted negatively. However, used appropriately AI can bring many advantages to every day people like you and me.
If all fails, being resilient will help your children to get through any change that faces them. They may have a life plan of what they want to do, but they should be open to changing it. This can be rapid and significant if it is needed. No-one knows what these changes will be. But being able to ride the change is key to surviving and thriving in a new environment.
The conversations about being flexible, remaining curious and being resilient begin in childhood. However, it is my belief that the most important conversations happen in young adulthood and going forwards. As I said earlier, you never stop being a parent.
Of course, to be qualified to help your children as adults, you need to be all of these things yourself. It will not assist them if you use the rhetoric;
in my day……
Autumn is on its way. You can feel it in the air in the mornings now. Mothers are starting to talk about the return to school.
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