Betrayal: can you recover from it or will you always carry the hurt?

Published by Alison Wem on

Betrayal can be a hard life challenge to handle and to recover from. It can go straight to your heart and make you feel unheard and/or abandoned. It can have such an impact on you, you may feel like a vulnerable small child.

A betrayal can be from a long time ago but you might still be carrying the hurt. If the hurt is deep enough, it can appear as a physical pain or illness. Often doctors can find no cause for the pain. Yet you are still feeling it.

It is never too late to take action. You can heal and reclaim a part of your lovely self. It is yours to own and enjoy.

How do you handle other people’s betrayal of you?

If you ask for help, I have found you are never really alone. This is the guidance I was asked to use for myself and to share with others. For like you, I have experienced betrayal which has left me with a pain in my side no doctor seems able to explain. Try this…

Go into a meditative state and try these three steps:

  1. Mitigate the impact of the betrayal for every aspect of yourself – mind, body, emotions, soul at both the energy and physical level.
    • Do things that please you, rest to help recouperation. Talk to people you trust about the betrayal to help you get the hurt out of you.
  1. Stabilise
    • Give yourself lots of love, use colours that help you, walk in nature, cook healthy food you love.
  1. Repair – step back and don’t respond until you feel stable. You can’t control another’s actions but you are responsible for your response. Be kind but firm on what you feel is right. If the betrayal is from a long time ago and you are unable to speak to the individual, visualise the person and speak your response to them.

Colours I have found helpful in this situation are lovely pinks to aid self-love. There are lots of gorgeous hues of pink. Your soul will help you to chose the right one for you. Pink helps you with self-love and self-nurture. It brings out the feminine side of you and helps you to care for that vulnerable inner-child.

You may find yourself attracted to turquoise. Perhaps try wearing turquoise. If you don’t have any clothes of that colour perhaps you can find a scarf. It is good for emotional health and expressing yourself. Turquoise is a mix of the green from your heart chakra and blue from your throat. It assists you with speaking your truth from your heart. People will intuitively respond to the authenticity of what you say.

No betrayal makes you someone other than you are. Often the perpetrator is acting from jealous of the lovely and gifted person you are. Try not to allow them to hold you back from being your authentic self.

Be still and know that I am me.

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Navigating Family Tensions During the Holidays: A Spiritual Guide to Harmony

The holidays are a time for joy, connection, and celebration, but they can also bring up old wounds, unspoken grievances, and family tensions. It’s natural – bringing everyone together can create the perfect storm for misunderstandings or disagreements. But with a spiritual perspective, you can approach these moments gracefully and develop a sense of harmony for yourself and your loved ones. Here’s how:

  1. Set Intentions for Peace

Before your family gathering, take a moment to ground yourself. Light a candle, meditate, or say a prayer with the intention of fostering understanding and peace. Visualise the gathering as harmonious, with each family member feeling heard and valued. Your positive energy can ripple out, influencing the overall mood.

  1. Practice Mindful Listening

Conflicts often arise when people feel unheard or misunderstood. Instead of reacting defensively, try active listening. Take a deep breath, centre yourself, and listen to what’s being said without judgment. Reflect on what you hear to show you’re genuinely trying to understand, even if you disagree.

  1. Cultivate Compassion

Remember that everyone carries their own burdens and wounds. Aunt Mary’s sharp comments might stem from her own insecurities or pain. Approach each interaction with compassion. A simple internal mantra like, “I choose understanding over anger,” can help keep your heart open and your spirit calm.

  1. Create Sacred Space

If tensions rise, excuse yourself for a moment to breathe and recalibrate. Step outside, connect with nature, or find a quiet corner to close your eyes and visualise releasing negativity. Even five minutes of calm can restore balance and help you approach challenges more clearly.

  1. Focus on Gratitude

Amid the chaos, focus on the blessings. No matter how imperfect, a family gathering is an opportunity to connect, celebrate, and learn from each other. Gratitude shifts your perspective from what’s wrong to what’s right, creating a more uplifting experience for all.

  1. Establish Boundaries with Love

If a conversation becomes too heated, it’s okay to steer it elsewhere or step away kindly. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish – it’s essential for maintaining your peace and honouring your energy.

This holiday season, let your spiritual practice guide you through the ebbs and flows of family dynamics.

 

With patience, compassion, and a focus on the higher good, you can navigate challenges gracefully and create an atmosphere of love and understanding that everyone will feel.

 

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Strengthening Body and Spirit: The Hidden Benefits of Fitness and Discipline

In a fast-paced world, physical fitness is often seen as a way to stay healthy and look good. But what if exercise could do more than that? What if it could also strengthen your spirit and deepen your sense of purpose? When approached with discipline, physical fitness offers incredible spiritual and mental benefits that go far beyond.

Building Discipline: A Path to Inner Strength

Consistency in physical fitness is a form of discipline, and discipline has a profound spiritual impact. By showing up for yourself, whether lifting weights, running, or practicing yoga, you cultivate self-respect and resilience.

Discipline teaches you to embrace discomfort for the sake of growth, a principle that mirrors spiritual practices like meditation or fasting. Over time, sticking to your fitness routine strengthens not just your body but also your willpower and ability to navigate challenges in other areas of life.

Movement as Meditation

Have you ever felt completely in the zone during a run or weightlifting session? That flow state – where time seems to disappear – is a meditative experience. Physical activity helps quiet the mental chatter, grounding you in the present moment.

Running, cycling, or even walking outdoors can become a spiritual practice when done mindfully. Focus on your breath, the rhythm of your steps, or the sensations in your body. In these moments, exercise transforms into a moving meditation, connecting your mind, body, and spirit.

The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection

Physical fitness bridges the gap between the physical and the spiritual. When your body feels strong and energised, your mind is clearer, and you’re better equipped to connect with your spiritual self. Exercise boosts endorphins, reduces stress, and creates a sense of inner calm that can enhance prayer, meditation, or introspection.

A healthy body also serves as a vessel for spiritual growth. Focusing on higher aspirations is easier when you’re not weighed down by fatigue or poor health.

Practical Tips to Blend Fitness and Spirituality
  • Set Intentions: Begin your workouts with a simple intention, such as gratitude or focus.
  • Stay Consistent: Approach your routine as a sacred practice, showing up even when motivation wanes.
  • Incorporate Nature: Exercise outdoors to connect with the earth and breathe fresh air.
  • Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge small victories as reflections of your growing strength—inside and out.

By combining physical fitness with mindfulness and discipline, you’ll discover a deeper connection to your spirit, proving that strength isn’t just physical – it’s spiritual, too.

Try any form of exercise you enjoy and see the lift it gives you

 

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Celebrating Solo: How to Create a Meaningful Christmas for Yourself

For many, Christmas is a time of togetherness, but for some, it’s a day spent alone. If you’re facing a solo Christmas this year, I want you to know something: it doesn’t have to be lonely. It can be an opportunity to create meaningful, personal traditions that bring you joy and comfort.

Spending Christmas alone isn’t about what’s missing but what you can add to make the day uniquely yours. Let’s explore some ways to fill your Christmas with warmth and meaning.

Start with Intention

Think about how you want your Christmas to feel. Peaceful? Joyful? Restorative? Setting an intention for the day can help you choose activities that align with your desired day. You’re in charge here, so make it memorable.

Create Your Own Festive Rituals

Rituals don’t have to be grand to be meaningful. Perhaps you start the day with your favourite breakfast, complete with a cup of tea or coffee in your coziest mug. Light a candle, play soft music, or watch the sunrise. It’s about creating small moments that feel magical.

Do something festive, like decorating a tiny tree or setting out fairy lights. These little touches can transform your space and lift your spirits even if it’s just for you.

Cook a Meal You Love

Forget the traditional turkey if it doesn’t excite you. What’s your favourite meal? Cook it. Enjoy every bite. Maybe try a new recipe or indulge in something decadent you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Eating something you love is a simple yet powerful way to celebrate yourself.

Connect in Your Own Way

Being alone doesn’t mean you can’t connect. Reach out to a friend or family member for a chat, send heartfelt messages, or join an online event. Technology makes it easy to feel connected, even when miles apart.

Alternatively, connect with yourself. Write in a journal, reflect on the year, or meditate. Christmas can be a beautiful time to reconnect with your inner self.

Give Back to Yourself or Others

Acts of kindness, even small ones, can fill your heart with joy. Donate to a charity, write a kind note to a neighbour, or give yourself the gift of rest and relaxation. You deserve it.

End the Day with Gratitude

Take a moment to reflect on the small joys you created. Gratitude, even for tiny things like the glow of a candle or the taste of a warm drink, can shift your perspective and bring you peace.

Christmas alone isn’t something to fear. It’s a chance to discover the beauty of your own company and create traditions that are uniquely yours.

You are enough—and your day can be too.

 

Wishing you a Christmas full of love and light,
Alison Wem