Betrayal: can you recover from it or will you always carry the hurt?

Betrayal can be a hard life challenge to handle and to recover from. It can go straight to your heart and make you feel unheard and/or abandoned. It can have such an impact on you, you may feel like a vulnerable small child.

A betrayal can be from a long time ago but you might still be carrying the hurt. If the hurt is deep enough, it can appear as a physical pain or illness. Often doctors can find no cause for the pain. Yet you are still feeling it.

It is never too late to take action. You can heal and reclaim a part of your lovely self. It is yours to own and enjoy. read more

Dying: the farewell

Since the day we were born, all of us are destined to die. As you draw into old age, you may wish to review your life and all of its ups and downs. Or you may decide to do this at an earlier time in your life. Here is some guidance you may like to consider.

  • Don’t have regrets for the things that have not gone well. We all have them. Decide what you would do differently if you were faced with the same choices again. This is how you learn and grow. A learning is never a waste for your soul even if you learn it with your last breath.
  • Be kind to yourself. We often accept the views of that critical voice inside, your ego. Your soul is much kinder and more loving. It is surprisingly objective and comes with wisdom when reviewing the life challenges you have had to deal with. Listen to the loving, kind voice rather than the critical one.
  • Be grateful for the opportunities to learn you have been given in this lifetime. You may or may not have got things right or the outcome you desired. But perhaps you have learnt hard lessons, such as how to handle disappointment in a gracious way. Or learnt to remain positive and hopeful as something better will arrive. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time of disappointment.

Perhaps the hardest farewell is when someone knows they are terminally ill.

When I am ill, I always say to myself – never mind, you will feel a little better tomorrow. How hard it must be to know it will not be the case for you and yet still enjoy life. Some people do manage this hardest of tasks. Perhaps they have learnt or found the wisdom, it is not about the quantity of life but rather the quality of it. read more

Pride: is it good or bad?

Pride is the feeling you get of pleasure or satisfaction when you or someone you love has achieved something. It is perhaps that sense of pride when your child has had the courage to stand-up in front of the school and read a poem. You know how challenging that is to your child but they succeeded in doing it. I can see you clapping your hands with a big smile on your face.

With a positive connotation, pride is a sense of contentment or happiness towards your own life choices and actions or those of someone you are close to you. read more

Life is for living and enjoying: find your joy

All of us have someone or something that challenges us in our life. We came into a life to learn and these challenges are meant to stretch us and help us to learn. Life is full of ups and downs. But it is always important to remember life is a gift for living and enjoying.

Sometimes the stetch for a learning can feel excessive to the point where you can feel quite down. We have all been there, such as parental disapproval, a lover walking away, a job lost or a sick child. But the key question is;

How do you pick yourself up and get back into the flow of life and experiencing joy? read more

ABC of love: l is for love

Love comes in many shapes and forms

Whenever anyone speaks of love they are often referring to romantic love between two people. I believe that love is infinite and can come in many forms. If romantic love was the only form of love, it would be quite exclusive and in limited quantities. It would be a hard world with only this type of love available to give and receive.

Fortunately for us love comes in many forms – parental, family, friends, pets, yourself. All of the important people in your life are available for you to love. In my view love is infinite and the more of it in your life, the richer it will be. Some people believe that you cannot possibly love a step or adopted child as much as a biological child. I disagree with this view. I think the choice is yours to decide how much you open your heart to love a person. read more

Grieving over the loss of a loved one?

All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time, it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.

When someone you love dies it can leave a big hole in your life. It can feel like life is no longer worth living. If there has been an illness and anticipation of death, you may have had the opportunity to say the important things you wanted to say such as how much you love each other or maybe forgiveness for a perceived wrong. read more