Is kindness worth the effort?

When I was growing up, I used to play with a small group of girls who lived nearby. Generally, we all got on and we played happily together. After the long summer holidays together, perhaps we had spent too much time together and one of us would say or do something unkind.

When I used to go running to my mum upset, she did not say – oh you poor thing. Instead, she used to ask me to imagine how that person must feel inside to be so unkind. I should feel grateful that I didn’t feel like that.

A little kindness can go a long way. read more

Pride: is it good or bad?

Pride is the feeling you get of pleasure or satisfaction when you or someone you love has achieved something. It is perhaps that sense of pride when your child has had the courage to stand-up in front of the school and read a poem. You know how challenging that is to your child but they succeeded in doing it. I can see you clapping your hands with a big smile on your face.

With a positive connotation, pride is a sense of contentment or happiness towards your own life choices and actions or those of someone you are close to you. read more

Life is for living and enjoying: find your joy

All of us have someone or something that challenges us in our life. We came into a life to learn and these challenges are meant to stretch us and help us to learn. Life is full of ups and downs. But it is always important to remember life is a gift for living and enjoying.

Sometimes the stetch for a learning can feel excessive to the point where you can feel quite down. We have all been there, such as parental disapproval, a lover walking away, a job lost or a sick child. But the key question is;

How do you pick yourself up and get back into the flow of life and experiencing joy? read more

ABC of love: l is for love

Love comes in many shapes and forms

Whenever anyone speaks of love they are often referring to romantic love between two people. I believe that love is infinite and can come in many forms. If romantic love was the only form of love, it would be quite exclusive and in limited quantities. It would be a hard world with only this type of love available to give and receive.

Fortunately for us love comes in many forms – parental, family, friends, pets, yourself. All of the important people in your life are available for you to love. In my view love is infinite and the more of it in your life, the richer it will be. Some people believe that you cannot possibly love a step or adopted child as much as a biological child. I disagree with this view. I think the choice is yours to decide how much you open your heart to love a person. read more

Family: love them or hate them?

We all have a family. I believe a better name for family is ‘loved ones’ which also includes friends, colleagues, neighbours, pets and more. Your family teaches you throughout your life to give and to receive love.

Love is such a powerful emotion – love for a child, a parent, a friend.  Enjoying that love is wonderful, loss of that love can be truly painful.

Love heals, makes you laugh and generally makes life worth living.

Here are my views on love:

Loving is for all, not just your partner, family and friends. It should also include yourself! Often, the most unlovable people are those that gain the most value from your love, be it a smile, a kind word or an offer of help. read more

Feeling sad when everyone else is happy?

Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.

Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that? read more