Ever felt everything is going wrong? 3 tips to improve your life

Published by Alison Wem on

Ever had a time when everything you do seems to go wrong?

I know I have, and often I have no knowledge why this should be. When the flow of life is not working for you, I have found you are either doing the wrong things or approaching life in the wrong way. One of my problems is that sometimes I just try too hard! When I do this I get too tired and make mistakes. They can be small mistakes but they can have a BIG impact – like how I have spoken to someone and then I lose their co-operation. I seem to make mountains which I then have to climb. I get so cross with myself.

If you think your life is hard and you are feeling sorry for yourself, take a look at this video. A man with no arms and legs lives life without limits.

Here are the tips to help you move your life forward.

Tip 1 : if what you are doing is not working – STOP and take a pause

When things are going wrong, and you find yourself descending into a hole (metaphorically speaking), the first thing to do is to just stop.

Stop doing anything, and take an honest, objective look around.

Before you try to find a way out of your hole you need to recognise that you are in one. That is actually much harder than you think. Many people are often so focused on what they are doing, they forget to check they are still doing the right thing. Even when they suspect something is wrong, they talk themselves out of pausing. They have lost sight of the end goal and the task has taken over!

Don’t be that person – STOP and take a pause.

Tip 2 : take a look at the wider picture of your life

Take an objective look at what is happening in your life. Consider if there are any changes you would like to make. Are there any different approaches which might work better? When you become the ‘detached observer’ of your life, you will be surprised how objective you become. This will bring you fresh insight.

Tip 3 : be kind to yourself

When you are kind to yourself you acquire greater resilience in coping with the ups and downs of life. A resilient person is someone who can manage uncertainty and recover from adversity well.

Learning to become a resilient person helps to develop your inner strength.  During your life, challenges and crises will inevitably hit you.  We cannot predict when they will come.  Challenges are opportunities to learn life lessons.  Having some resilience through an inner strength helps you to navigate your challenges and to learn from them.

The world is an increasingly uncertain place.  By developing resilience you will have the emotional strength to navigate your way through whatever arrives for you.  You may also have the resilience to help others through their challenges too.

Remember; a challenge is an opportunity to learn.  Not taking the challenge as a personal attack is a good approach to learning resilience.

Look at your life challenges and seek what opportunities to learn they are giving you.  Examples may be learning patience, to communicate better, defining your boundaries better.  The list can be endless but knowing your list can be insightful.

If you have a question or want to book an appointment with me, Alison Wem, for intuitive life guidance, creative therapy or mediumship, contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Skype depending on location.

Categories: Life LessonsMindful workplaceYour Soul Family
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Resilience for Real Life: Practical Tools to Stay Strong and Grounded

When life throws challenges your way—whether it’s work stress, personal setbacks, or unexpected changes, building resilience can make all the difference. Resilience isn’t about forcing yourself through tough times; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that helps you bounce back and grow.

For men navigating high-pressure situations, spiritual practices like meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork can offer powerful tools to support that resilience and build lasting mental and emotional strength. Yet many men don’t take advantage of these tools. Stop for a moment and listen to the suggestions below.

Meditation: A Moment of Stillness to Recharge

Meditation might seem like a stretch if you’re new to it, but think of it as a practical reset for your mind. In the midst of a demanding day, even five or ten minutes of meditation can bring a sense of calm and clarity. This simple practice creates space where you can pause, let go of distractions, and refocus on what matters most.

I had an introverted manager who had to give weekly stand-up chats to his team of 40+ people. We worked in an open plan office, but just before the presentation he would turn his back on us and look at a picture on the wall behind his chair. This gave him the calmness to give the standup with clear and effective communication. His stand-ups became well loved and his team looked forward to them.

To get started, find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Let your mind settle, noticing thoughts as they arise without getting pulled into them. With each breath, you’re becoming calmer and more focused. As you breath out you let go of whatever no longer serves you, helping you handle life’s demands with a little more ease and resilience. This short exercise is also good for your blood pressure.

Mindfulness: Staying in the Present

Mindfulness is about fully engaging in what you’re doing right now – no multitasking, no mental to-do lists. When work and life get busy, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or future worries. Your mind is jumping from one thing to another. Practicing mindfulness can help you break that cycle, grounding you in the present moment and giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. You can practice it anytime, anywhere – whether you’re working, exercising, or even just enjoying a meal. Focus on the experience itself, noticing the details and sensations. Staying present like this builds a steady, grounded mindset that can help you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity.

Breathwork: Taking Control of Stress

Your breath is a powerful tool for managing stress, and specific breathwork techniques can quickly bring calm and balance into any stressful situation. When pressure mounts, it’s easy to fall into shallow, fast breathing, which only adds to the tension. By practicing deep, controlled breathing, you can stay grounded, even when things get tough.

Try the “4-7-8” breathing technique: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. It only takes a few rounds to feel a shift in your stress levels, helping you regain focus and stay in control. Just three deep breaths can make you feel very different.

Building a Routine That Fits

Building resilience doesn’t mean you need a complicated routine. It’s about finding simple practices that resonate with you and fit into your life. Try different approaches to see what works best – a short meditation in the morning, a mindful break during the day, or breathwork to settle your nerves when stress spikes. Over time, you’ll have a tool kit to support you through any challenge, helping you build a deeper sense of resilience and inner strength.

When life gets challenging, these practices are here to help you stay grounded, resilient, and ready for whatever comes next.

Life Lessons

Mindfulness Made Easy: Quick Practices for Busy Women to Stay Grounded and Centred

Let’s face it: life can be a whirlwind. With so much on our plates, finding calm can feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But here’s the good news—mindfulness doesn’t need to take hours of your day. With a few simple practices, you can find little moments of peace, even in the busiest times. Let’s explore a few ways to stay grounded that fit right into a busy schedule.

  1. Start Your Day with a Gentle Intention

Take a few deep breaths when you wake up. Ask yourself, “What do I need most today?” Whether it’s calm, focus, or energy, setting a gentle intention only takes a moment but can really set the tone for your day. Being positive about your day when you wake up and directing what you want to have in it, has a powerful effect. It’s a small but strong way to remind yourself that you matter, too.

  1. Try “Pause Breaths” During Stressful Moments

When you feel the stress creeping in, pause. Close your eyes if you can, take a deep breath in, hold it, and then slowly release. Repeat this at least three times. Even just a minute of mindful breathing can reset your nerves and help you feel more present. These little “pause breaths” are always there for you when you need them.

  1. Single-Task When You Can

With so much going on, it’s easy to fall into multitasking, but try to focus on one thing at a time when possible. Multitasking can be stressful and studies show you can be less effective operating like this as it takes time to switch intellectually from one task to another. Notice the sensations of whatever you’re doing—washing dishes, folding laundry, anything. It brings you into the moment and helps keep your mind from running all over the place. Personally, I get my best spiritual messages when I am doing a big pile of ironing!

  1. Find “Mindful Minutes”

Those tiny pauses in your day—waiting in line, sitting with your morning coffee—are golden opportunities to bring in mindfulness. Feel the warmth of your coffee mug or the air around you. Even just a moment of awareness can bring a sense of calm to your day. You may feel your energy relaxing and your body being more comfortable.

  1. Be Gentle with Yourself

Most importantly, give yourself a bit of grace. Be kind to yourself as you would your best friend. Mindfulness isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about bringing a little more kindness into your day. When you’re feeling stressed, remind yourself, “I’m doing my best.” Because you are, and that’s more than enough.

 

Remember, mindfulness doesn’t require perfection; it’s just about finding little ways to feel more present and grounded in your life right now.

Try these tips, and remember, you’re doing a wonderful job.

Your Soul Family

Your Peaceful Place: Designing a Sacred Space at Home

Constant noise and distractions seem to be the norm of the 21st century. I really notice the difference when I return to London after being in the rural countryside. This has led me to believe creating a sacred space at home is essential for nurturing your spiritual well-being. Many women value a peaceful environment; a personal sanctuary can bring balance and inner calm. Whether you have an entire room or just a small corner, a sacred space is where you can retreat and recharge.

Here’s how to create your own sacred space to support your spiritual journey and promote inner peace.

Choose Your Space Wisely

You don’t need a large area, but the space should be somewhere you feel comfortable and undisturbed. A quiet corner in your bedroom, a nook by the window, or even a section of your garden can work perfectly. Focus on an area that feels safe, calm, and inviting.

Natural light can enhance the atmosphere, so choose a spot with soft lighting if possible. If not, use gentle artificial lighting to create a warm, peaceful ambiance.

Clear and Cleanse the Space

Start by decluttering your chosen area. An uncluttered space invites a clear, calm mind. Once the physical space is cleared, cleanse it energetically. You can use sage, palo santo, or incense to purify the air and set the tone for peace and healing. If you are unable to do this, you can clear a space energetically by clapping your hands.

While cleansing, set an intention for the space. Whether for inner peace, healing, or spiritual growth, your space will hold the energy you infuse into it.

Bring in Elements of Nature

Incorporating nature helps ground your space. You can add plants, crystals, seashells, or stones, anything that connects you to the earth. Each of these elements brings its own energy. Plants purify the air, while crystals can offer specific healing properties, depending on your needs.

Select items that resonate with you and create a sense of peace and harmony. I like to change these items with the seasons. The autumn has arrived in the UK. As the leaves on the trees change to wonderful colours, I will definitely be making use of them in my sacred space.

Create Comfort and Warmth

Comfort is vital in your sacred space. Add cushions, soft blankets, or a meditation pillow to create a cozy environment. Choose seating that fits how you intend to use the space, whether it’s for meditation, journaling, or quiet reflection.

Candles can also enhance the sense of warmth. Beeswax or essential oil-infused candles are ideal, and lighting one can mark the start of your sacred time.

Personalise Your Space

This is your sanctuary, so personalise it with items that are meaningful to you. Add spiritual symbols, personal mementos, or artwork that inspires and uplifts you. You might include a small altar with objects representing what you wish to invite into your life – peace, love, or clarity.

Use Your Space with Intention

The power of your sacred space comes from using it regularly. Whether for meditation, yoga, or simple moments of silence, make it a habit to retreat there daily. Set an intention each time you enter, aligning the space’s energy with your spiritual goals.

Creating a sacred space at home is a simple yet powerful way to nurture your inner peace. You’ll create a sanctuary that supports your spiritual well-being by choosing a space, cleansing it, adding natural elements, and using it intentionally.