Feeling sad when everyone else is happy?

Published by Alison Wem on

Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.

Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that?

The 2nd January can be a sad time for many.

If like me when I was a widow, you feel lonely, rather than sit at home feeling sad, try to do things which bring you into contact with other people.

Smile at the world and the world will smile back.

Join a club or a chat with a neighbour can make a world of difference to how you feel about your day.

I know it’s not easy, I have been there.

Each little step you take will ease your situation. It does take effort and perseverance to move forward but it will be worthwhile.

If you are home bound, you can always call Esther Rantzen’s – The Silver Line, telephone number 0800 4 70 80 90 for a chat. Some call just to say ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night.’

For those of you lucky enough to have people who care for you, be grateful for them. Dr Chatterjee suggests an exercise to boost your positive feelings. True happiness comes from the heart.

The Love List – write down five things you love about someone close to you.

It could be for a partner, friend, child, colleague, you can take a different person each day or stay with the same person. In close relationships we often focus on the things that irritate you rather the things that bring you joy. This simple exercise changes the focus onto the positive things in the relationship and often changes how you feel about it. So often people do not reflect on their relationships in this manner until its too late and the person is lost to them in some way.

If you are aware of a person who lives alone, perhaps a neighbour, colleague, friend or relative; take some time in January to give them a call, better still visit them, go for a coffee or set another place at your dinner table. It will help them to get past the January Blues. When you give, you often receive as well.

How do you feel?

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp depending on location.

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Finding Calm: Practical Spiritual Tools to Manage Stress for Men

Many men today face a fast-paced world where stress and anxiety can easily take a toll on their mental and physical well-being. Juggling demanding careers, family responsibilities, and personal goals often leaves little room for genuine relaxation. While stress is inevitable, there are spiritual practices that can help you manage it effectively, creating a more robust, calmer foundation for handling life’s challenges.

Meditation: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

Meditation may seem intimidating at first, but it’s one of the most effective tools for reducing stress and anxiety. Think of it as a pause button for your mind – a way to give yourself a break from constant mental chatter. Meditation doesn’t require a complicated routine; just five or ten minutes daily in a quiet space is enough to start.

Start by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breathing. Let your thoughts come and go without trying to control them. The goal isn’t to “stop” thinking but to allow thoughts to pass without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you observe your mind without reacting, which builds resilience and mental clarity. Over time, meditation can become a reliable anchor in moments of stress, grounding you and helping you find inner peace.

Breathwork: Releasing Tension with Intentional Breathing

Breathwork is another powerful tool for stress management. Many people tend to breathe shallowly when they’re stressed, which only heightens anxiety. Practicing slow, deep breathing calms the mind and tells the body it’s safe to relax.

Try the “4-7-8” technique: inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This pattern relaxes the nervous system, reduces tension, and creates a quick sense of calm. Practicing this technique regularly, especially in high-stress situations, can help you handle challenges with a clear head and steady nerves.

Mindfulness: Staying Grounded in the Present

Mindfulness is simply about being fully present. Often, stress comes from worrying about the past or future, but mindfulness brings you back to what’s right in front of you. It’s about focusing on the here and now without judgment.

Try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. For instance, if you’re drinking coffee, take a moment to savour the aroma and taste. If you’re working, focus on the task at hand without letting your mind wander. Engaging fully with your surroundings and actions helps reduce anxiety, making you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Physical Activity as a Form of Release

While exercise might not seem like a spiritual practice, physical movement can be grounding and healing. Activities like yoga, hiking, or even a simple walk outdoors connect you to your body and help release pent-up energy. Exercise reduces stress hormones and boosts
endorphins, helping you feel more balanced.

Finding Your Spiritual Routine

Managing stress and anxiety isn’t about following a rigid routine. It’s about exploring what resonates with you and creating a set of practices that fit your lifestyle. Maybe it’s a few minutes of meditation in the morning, breathwork during a busy workday, or mindfulness in daily activities. These small moments can make a big difference.

Remember, building a stress-resistant life takes time and patience. Investing in these spiritual practices will create a foundation of inner peace, clarity, and resilience, helping you handle whatever life brings.

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Resilience for Real Life: Practical Tools to Stay Strong and Grounded

When life throws challenges your way—whether it’s work stress, personal setbacks, or unexpected changes, building resilience can make all the difference. Resilience isn’t about forcing yourself through tough times; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that helps you bounce back and grow.

For men navigating high-pressure situations, spiritual practices like meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork can offer powerful tools to support that resilience and build lasting mental and emotional strength. Yet many men don’t take advantage of these tools. Stop for a moment and listen to the suggestions below.

Meditation: A Moment of Stillness to Recharge

Meditation might seem like a stretch if you’re new to it, but think of it as a practical reset for your mind. In the midst of a demanding day, even five or ten minutes of meditation can bring a sense of calm and clarity. This simple practice creates space where you can pause, let go of distractions, and refocus on what matters most.

I had an introverted manager who had to give weekly stand-up chats to his team of 40+ people. We worked in an open plan office, but just before the presentation he would turn his back on us and look at a picture on the wall behind his chair. This gave him the calmness to give the standup with clear and effective communication. His stand-ups became well loved and his team looked forward to them.

To get started, find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Let your mind settle, noticing thoughts as they arise without getting pulled into them. With each breath, you’re becoming calmer and more focused. As you breath out you let go of whatever no longer serves you, helping you handle life’s demands with a little more ease and resilience. This short exercise is also good for your blood pressure.

Mindfulness: Staying in the Present

Mindfulness is about fully engaging in what you’re doing right now – no multitasking, no mental to-do lists. When work and life get busy, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or future worries. Your mind is jumping from one thing to another. Practicing mindfulness can help you break that cycle, grounding you in the present moment and giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. You can practice it anytime, anywhere – whether you’re working, exercising, or even just enjoying a meal. Focus on the experience itself, noticing the details and sensations. Staying present like this builds a steady, grounded mindset that can help you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity.

Breathwork: Taking Control of Stress

Your breath is a powerful tool for managing stress, and specific breathwork techniques can quickly bring calm and balance into any stressful situation. When pressure mounts, it’s easy to fall into shallow, fast breathing, which only adds to the tension. By practicing deep, controlled breathing, you can stay grounded, even when things get tough.

Try the “4-7-8” breathing technique: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. It only takes a few rounds to feel a shift in your stress levels, helping you regain focus and stay in control. Just three deep breaths can make you feel very different.

Building a Routine That Fits

Building resilience doesn’t mean you need a complicated routine. It’s about finding simple practices that resonate with you and fit into your life. Try different approaches to see what works best – a short meditation in the morning, a mindful break during the day, or breathwork to settle your nerves when stress spikes. Over time, you’ll have a tool kit to support you through any challenge, helping you build a deeper sense of resilience and inner strength.

When life gets challenging, these practices are here to help you stay grounded, resilient, and ready for whatever comes next.

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Awakening to Purpose: A Midlife Spiritual Guide for Men

As men reach their 40s and 50s, many seek deeper meaning and purpose in life. This stage, often called “midlife,” can be a time of transformation, offering the opportunity to reflect and grow spiritually.

Questions arise about purpose, impact, and alignment with their soul, signalling the beginning of a powerful shift from external achievements to inner fulfilment.

Many spiritual articles focus on a female audience with little guidance or encouragement for men. Their perspective on life can be different from women. This article aims to guide men, but it can equally address the needs of women to understand how spirituality affects men in their lives.

Embracing the Midlife Transition

Midlife is often a time when old identities and roles no longer satisfy you. The drive for career success or external validation fades, making space for a deeper connection with the inner self. Rather than focusing on what’s being left behind, midlife can be seen as a time of transformation. It’s a chance to shed old patterns and step into a more authentic, purposeful life.

Spirituality can offer a guiding light through this process. Like the moon’s cycles, this phase of life invites men to embrace new opportunities for growth by letting go of outdated expectations and exploring new spiritual practices.

The Call for Inner Reflection

Midlife is the perfect time to slow down and engage in inner reflection. Practices like meditation, journaling, or time in nature help quiet the mind, allowing deeper desires and purpose to emerge. These spiritual practices support the shift from external focus to internal exploration, opening the door to self-discovery.

For some, this spiritual journey may involve reading about spirituality or engaging in meaningful conversations. Others may find structure in mindfulness, yoga, or reconnecting with religious traditions. The key is to explore what feels aligned with your inner self.

Finding Purpose through Service

One of the most profound ways to rediscover purpose during midlife is through acts of service. Spiritual growth often comes through helping others, whether it’s mentoring younger men, volunteering, or supporting family members. Giving back helps cultivate a sense of connection and meaning, enriching your life and those around you.

Letting Go of Old Definitions of Success

Midlife brings a need to redefine success. Success has long been tied to career accomplishments, financial security, or status for many men. But as these external markers lose their appeal, it’s essential to shift toward a more personal definition of success, one focused on being present, living authentically, and pursuing deeper meaning.

Stepping into Your New Chapter

Finding purpose in midlife is about embracing a journey, not reaching a final destination. Spiritual growth during this stage invites you to reconnect with your inner self, let go of old expectations, and discover what truly brings meaning to your life. You can step into this new chapter with a renewed sense of purpose through spiritual practices, reflection, and service to others.

Midlife is not an end, but a beginning – a profound opportunity to discover peace and purpose in your life’s journey.