How are we coping with so many people dying of Covid-19?

Published by Alison Wem on

Grieving for a loss or trying to support someone who has lost a loved one?

All of us experience grief at some point in our lives.  When we experience it for the first time it can come as quite a shock.  It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.

In the UK over 100,000 people have passed as a direct result of catching Covid-19. On average for each person who passes, 8 – 10 people feel the loss of them in their lives.

The population of the UK is approximately 68m people and up to 1m of them are currently grieving. Many of them are young adults who did not expect to loose a parent so soon. 1m people is nearly 1.5% of the population, so probably all of us know someone who has lost a loved one and is grieving. The UK is not the only country in this situation.

What can we do to support the grieving?

Here are some suggestions:

  • Listen to them – many people want to talk about their lost loved one, to remember happy times and how they felt then. I believe it makes them feel closer to the person who has passed and helps their aching heart.
  • Help them with simple everyday tasks like leaving a meal on their doorstep. Looking after yourself can feel very hard to do when you are grieving. Often there is no motivation to get on with everyday tasks. Be proactive, don’t wait for them to ask for your help. Helping someone, no matter how small the task, is a great help to the grieving.
  • Be consistent with your contact and your help. When I was widowed, I found in our village people didn’t know what to say to me, so when they saw me in the high street, they would cross to the other side of the road and wave. I found this very hurtful, especially at a time when I was missing physical contact like a hug. If you do not know what to say, just say – ‘I’m sorry for your loss’. I know some people feel this is corny or too American but actually it’s very simple and says it all.

We would love to hear from you and how you or your community are helping people who have lost a loved one. Do add a comment. It might give someone else an idea.

If you have a question or want to book an appointment with Alison Wem for intuitive life guidance, creative therapy or mediumship, contact us Here

Available via Zoom, Skype or over the phone.

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Your Soul Family

How do I help my children to thrive in this changing world

Our children are often the dearest people in our hearts. We put a lot of time and effort into raising them. We want to know that they can have a good life ahead of them. No matter the age of your children, you never stop being a parent and wanting the best for them.

What can a parent do to help safe-guard their children?

By the nature of living in a changing world, the greatest gift for your child to not only survive within it but to thrive, is being flexible. Careers and jobs are no longer for life. Everyone expects to change them in a life time with a possible geographic move thrown in as well. Technology is moving fast and impacting our lives. Those who do not adopt it and take the best from it, are in danger of being left behind.

Are you being a good role model on flexibility?

While children are growing up, they tend to love routines and structure. These may well be useful and practical for maintaining a family schedule for times to eat and go to bed. But it is also useful to teach your children that changing the schedule is good if it leads to a better place or their environment necessitates it.

This is sometimes easier said than done. My son as a child loved his familiar routine. If we went on holiday, he would not change either the time to eat or sleep. It was a nightmare when we might want to stay out later to enjoy an evening walk or a meal. However, I do feel I brought this on myself. When it was just him and me at home, our lives ran better when we followed a schedule. When his baby sister arrived, we did not have this luxury. I still had to take and collect my son from school. The baby had to learn to wait for a feed or to sleep in her push chair if our family schedule necessitated it. My observation is my daughter grew up coping with being flexible more than my son.

As parents you want to warn your children of the inherent dangers in life. You may encourage them not to talk to strangers when they are little. When they grow older you warn them not to drink too much, to study and work hard, to manage their money carefully.

In all of this there is a danger you make your children fearful. It is important that they remain as curious about the world around them as they were as a baby and toddler.

There is a fine line between following your curiosity and safety

Curiosity keeps you engaged in the world and therefore informed on what may be upcoming in the future. With an understanding of upcoming changes, your children get the chance to consider what it will mean to them and to seek the benefits but mitigate the negatives. This gives them time to prepare and adapt to the changes.

An example of this today maybe Artificial Intelligence (AI). There is much fear around this topic from the risk of it being abused by powerful people and institutions. If this should happen, many people could be impacted negatively. However, used appropriately AI can bring many advantages to every day people like you and me.

If all fails, being resilient will help your children to get through any change that faces them. They may have a life plan of what they want to do, but they should be open to changing it. This can be rapid and significant if it is needed. No-one knows what these changes will be. But being able to ride the change is key to surviving and thriving in a new environment.

The conversations about being flexible, remaining curious and being resilient begin in childhood. However, it is my belief that the most important conversations happen in young adulthood and going forwards. As I said earlier, you never stop being a parent.

Of course, to be qualified to help your children as adults, you need to be all of these things yourself. It will not assist them if you use the rhetoric;

in my day……

Your Soul Family

Grieving over the loss of a loved one?

All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time, it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.

When someone you love dies it can leave a big hole in your life. It can feel like life is no longer worth living. If there has been an illness and anticipation of death, you may have had the opportunity to say the important things you wanted to say such as how much you love each other or maybe forgiveness for a perceived wrong.

If, like me, the death was sudden and unexpected, you do not get the opportunity to say those important words. I believe that is why people say you should live every day as if it is your last and not to go to bed on an argument.

I believe grieving is the process of saying goodbye. Through this process you experience many emotions.

Listen to Alison Wem’s personal experience of widowhood and how to navigate the grieving process.

Listen here

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life Get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp/phone.

Your Soul Family

Christmas is nearly here: feeling panicky?

Sadly preparation for Christmas can send many people into a panic. All those presents to find for the people most important to you in your life. How will you find something that brings joy, sends your love and shares some truths on life and living.

Don’t make it hard for yourself. Help is at hand. 

Here are a few inexpensive books that make great presents for those who are curious about life. Be the person to ignite your loved ones curiosity and help them to achieve a greater awareness of who they really are.

Alison Wem’s book reviews:

    

 

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp depending on location.