Grieving for a loss or trying to support someone who has lost a loved one?
All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.
In the UK over 100,000 people have passed as a direct result of catching Covid-19. On average for each person who passes, 8 – 10 people feel the loss of them in their lives.
The population of the UK is approximately 68m people and up to 1m of them are currently grieving. Many of them are young adults who did not expect to loose a parent so soon. 1m people is nearly 1.5% of the population, so probably all of us know someone who has lost a loved one and is grieving. The UK is not the only country in this situation.
What can we do to support the grieving?
Here are some suggestions:
- Listen to them – many people want to talk about their lost loved one, to remember happy times and how they felt then. I believe it makes them feel closer to the person who has passed and helps their aching heart.
- Help them with simple everyday tasks like leaving a meal on their doorstep. Looking after yourself can feel very hard to do when you are grieving. Often there is no motivation to get on with everyday tasks. Be proactive, don’t wait for them to ask for your help. Helping someone, no matter how small the task, is a great help to the grieving.
- Be consistent with your contact and your help. When I was widowed, I found in our village people didn’t know what to say to me, so when they saw me in the high street, they would cross to the other side of the road and wave. I found this very hurtful, especially at a time when I was missing physical contact like a hug. If you do not know what to say, just say – ‘I’m sorry for your loss’. I know some people feel this is corny or too American but actually it’s very simple and says it all.
We would love to hear from you and how you or your community are helping people who have lost a loved one. Do add a comment. It might give someone else an idea.
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