How to Handle a Toxic Manager

Published by Alison Wem on

Toxic managers can be challenging and also detrimental to your calmness and well-being. I know this from first hand experience. I was a senior executive successfully delivering a business change programme but I had the meanest manager I had ever experienced. He was a short New Yorker who loved to shout and belittle people. He did not respect that I lived in a different time zone from him and would call me late into my evening. Normally a confident person, my self-esteem and confidence hit rock bottom. It was a very unhappy period in my life.

In some ways I should thank this man as I learnt a lot about myself, how to define and hold my boundaries, lessons in managing myself plus I found out who loved me and helped me through this challenging situation. The best thing I ever did was deliver the programme and then leave. I felt I had met my commitments and then needed to look after my own well-being. It should not be underestimated how long it takes to recover from a toxic manager. I moved into another role with a great manager. However I still found myself very sensitive to certain situations. I had to manage myself carefully not to over-react. Thankfully this eased over time but it surprised me how long it took.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember to be kind to yourself.

Here is an article which provides practical advice on how to manage a toxic manager. If you are in this situation, I hope it helps you.

If you have any questions, please drop me a line.

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via video conferencing depending on location.

Upcoming events with Alison Wem – look here

Categories: EmotionsMindful workplace
Tags:

Related Posts

Emotions

What Is Sound Healing and Why Is Everyone Talking About It?

Recently, there has been a trend in people utilizing sound healing or sound baths to aid wellness.  Let’s look at why this modality is something everyone is talking about!

Sound healing is the practice of using vibrations and tones that resonate with the human body to induce a sense of relaxation, overall well-being, and balance. This is accomplished using instruments such as tuning forks, Tibetan singing bowls, crystal bowls, chimes, gongs, or drums. I am only focusing on the main instruments you may encounter.

You may also hear the term sound bath.  You lie down on a floor while the sound healing practitioner guides you into a state of relaxation before beginning to use multiple sound healing instruments simultaneously.  A harmony is created that emits an even deeper vibration. You experience a more profound relaxation.

Try experiencing sound healing at home by downloading videos or audio of pre-recorded sound baths.

 

You can try a type of frequency called binaural beats or solfeggio frequencies. These frequencies resonate with our chakras. For those of you who may not know, your chakras are your body’s energy centers, which, when blocked, can cause an imbalance in your physical body or mind. Sound healing is one method used to unblock your chakras.

 

So where did sound healing come from? 

 

Sound healing is not a newly discovered alternative wellness method. Ancient Civilizations, such as Ancient Egypt and Australian Aborigines, used sound healing. The Aboriginals used a wind instrument known as a didgeridoo. This instrument is played with the lips vibrating on one end to produce a sound through the other end. Aborigines were able to detect broken bones and torn muscles through didgeridoos.

 

 

Interesting fact – physicians test your reflexes using a tuning fork. A tuning fork’s original purpose was to detect if someone had a broken bone before we had x-ray technology!

 

 

 

In the International Journal of Healing and Caring Jan 2024, 24(1) 35-42 Barbosa states

An individual with depression may experience symptoms such as sadness, feelings of guilt, low or even lack of self-esteem, sleep problems and loses appetite, tiredness, discouragement and lack of concentration, the need for such patients suffering from these mental disorders to seek complementary therapies, such as music therapy and Sound Healing, is evident. The results point to the fact that music therapy works in areas where medications do not have the desired effectiveness.

Sound healing is growing as an evidence-based alternative healing method. More research is needed, but consistent reports of reduced stress levels and feelings of relaxation lead many to pursue sound healing in today’s world. We all experience stressors related to the many changes in today’s society, so we seek methods to cope.

Sound healing does not need to be expensive. Give it a try using a FREE one. I love this link, click here to experience a sound bath

Emotions

Rediscovering the Spirit of Christmas: A Journey Beyond Materialism

The holiday season can be a whirlwind of shopping lists, parties, and glittering decorations. But for those seeking something deeper, Christmas offers a profound opportunity to reconnect with your spiritual self.

Beyond the sparkle and bustle lies the true essence of this season: love, light, and a connection to something greater. Let’s explore how you can embrace the spiritual side of Christmas and find meaning that lasts far beyond the festivities.

Pause and Reflect

Christmas is often associated with giving, but have you paused to consider what the season gives you? Take time to reflect on the past year – its lessons, challenges, and blessings. A simple journaling session with a warm drink can help you tune into the gratitude and growth this season invites.

Embrace Stillness

Amid the noise of holiday preparations, create moments of quiet. Please light a candle and sit in stillness, letting its soft glow remind you of the light within. Meditation or prayer can help you connect with the deeper meaning of Christmas, bringing peace to your mind and soul.

Celebrate the Spirit of Giving

Giving isn’t just about material gifts. Consider how you can give from the heart: a kind word, a handwritten note, or your time to someone in need. Acts of generosity align you with the season’s spirit, filling your heart with joy and purpose.

Reconnect with Nature

Christmas falls at a time when nature rests in stillness. Take a winter walk and marvel at the quiet beauty around you. The crisp air, bare trees, and soft earth remind us of life’s cycles and the promise of renewal. Nature can be a sacred space to find peace and clarity.

Honour the Sacred

For many, Christmas is a time to honour spiritual traditions. Whether through religious ceremonies, personal rituals, or simply lighting a candle with intention, reconnect with what feels sacred to you. Create a space where you can celebrate the divine in your own way.

Focus on Connection

The heart of Christmas lies in connection – connection to others, to the world, and to your higher self. Reach out to loved ones with genuine care, but don’t forget to nurture your own soul. Christmas is an invitation to love, and that starts with yourself.

This holiday, step away from the pressures of materialism and let the season’s true meaning guide you. Love, peace, and light are gifts we can all share—no wrapping paper is required.

Wishing you a Christmas filled with spiritual joy and connection.

 

Emotions

Finding Calm: Practical Spiritual Tools to Manage Stress for Men

Many men today face a fast-paced world where stress and anxiety can easily take a toll on their mental and physical well-being. Juggling demanding careers, family responsibilities, and personal goals often leaves little room for genuine relaxation. While stress is inevitable, there are spiritual practices that can help you manage it effectively, creating a more robust, calmer foundation for handling life’s challenges.

Meditation: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

Meditation may seem intimidating at first, but it’s one of the most effective tools for reducing stress and anxiety. Think of it as a pause button for your mind – a way to give yourself a break from constant mental chatter. Meditation doesn’t require a complicated routine; just five or ten minutes daily in a quiet space is enough to start.

Start by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breathing. Let your thoughts come and go without trying to control them. The goal isn’t to “stop” thinking but to allow thoughts to pass without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you observe your mind without reacting, which builds resilience and mental clarity. Over time, meditation can become a reliable anchor in moments of stress, grounding you and helping you find inner peace.

Breathwork: Releasing Tension with Intentional Breathing

Breathwork is another powerful tool for stress management. Many people tend to breathe shallowly when they’re stressed, which only heightens anxiety. Practicing slow, deep breathing calms the mind and tells the body it’s safe to relax.

Try the “4-7-8” technique: inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This pattern relaxes the nervous system, reduces tension, and creates a quick sense of calm. Practicing this technique regularly, especially in high-stress situations, can help you handle challenges with a clear head and steady nerves.

Mindfulness: Staying Grounded in the Present

Mindfulness is simply about being fully present. Often, stress comes from worrying about the past or future, but mindfulness brings you back to what’s right in front of you. It’s about focusing on the here and now without judgment.

Try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. For instance, if you’re drinking coffee, take a moment to savour the aroma and taste. If you’re working, focus on the task at hand without letting your mind wander. Engaging fully with your surroundings and actions helps reduce anxiety, making you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Physical Activity as a Form of Release

While exercise might not seem like a spiritual practice, physical movement can be grounding and healing. Activities like yoga, hiking, or even a simple walk outdoors connect you to your body and help release pent-up energy. Exercise reduces stress hormones and boosts
endorphins, helping you feel more balanced.

Finding Your Spiritual Routine

Managing stress and anxiety isn’t about following a rigid routine. It’s about exploring what resonates with you and creating a set of practices that fit your lifestyle. Maybe it’s a few minutes of meditation in the morning, breathwork during a busy workday, or mindfulness in daily activities. These small moments can make a big difference.

Remember, building a stress-resistant life takes time and patience. Investing in these spiritual practices will create a foundation of inner peace, clarity, and resilience, helping you handle whatever life brings.