Is kindness worth the effort?

Published by Alison Wem on

When I was growing up, I used to play with a small group of girls who lived nearby. Generally, we all got on and we played happily together. After the long summer holidays together, perhaps we had spent too much time together and one of us would say or do something unkind.

When I used to go running to my mum upset, she did not say – oh you poor thing. Instead, she used to ask me to imagine how that person must feel inside to be so unkind. I should feel grateful that I didn’t feel like that.

A little kindness can go a long way.

The pain from unkindness can be intense. It doesn’t remain in childhood with friendship upsets. Unkindness can appear in adult life, often when you least expect it and sometimes from those closest to you such as a partner. The pain can go straight to your heart and make you feel wretched. When you feel like that, it is really hard to step back and not give some unkind response aimed to hurt. But in doing this, the only person you really hurt is yourself. If you are trying to live by strong life values, being unkind is not one of them.

When someone is unkind to you, being unkind to them back is not the right response.

The best way to counter unkindness is to show kindness. It may not be a big thing but a thoughtful, gentle kindness. In being kind to the other person, you are honouring yourself and being kind to yourself too.

We have all been unkind sometime, often through thoughtlessness rather than malicious intent. It takes consideration to use kind words, kind words can be healing, loving and inspiring.

Kindness is such a good contribution to make to this world of ours.

Kindness brings harmony and love to human relationships and living. When kindness is abundant in a relationship, that relationship is often joyful. Living a life surrounded by kindness is a good life.

 

 

This post is dedicated to those who try to practice kind words and acts of kindness.

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Finding Calm: Practical Spiritual Tools to Manage Stress for Men

Many men today face a fast-paced world where stress and anxiety can easily take a toll on their mental and physical well-being. Juggling demanding careers, family responsibilities, and personal goals often leaves little room for genuine relaxation. While stress is inevitable, there are spiritual practices that can help you manage it effectively, creating a more robust, calmer foundation for handling life’s challenges.

Meditation: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

Meditation may seem intimidating at first, but it’s one of the most effective tools for reducing stress and anxiety. Think of it as a pause button for your mind – a way to give yourself a break from constant mental chatter. Meditation doesn’t require a complicated routine; just five or ten minutes daily in a quiet space is enough to start.

Start by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breathing. Let your thoughts come and go without trying to control them. The goal isn’t to “stop” thinking but to allow thoughts to pass without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you observe your mind without reacting, which builds resilience and mental clarity. Over time, meditation can become a reliable anchor in moments of stress, grounding you and helping you find inner peace.

Breathwork: Releasing Tension with Intentional Breathing

Breathwork is another powerful tool for stress management. Many people tend to breathe shallowly when they’re stressed, which only heightens anxiety. Practicing slow, deep breathing calms the mind and tells the body it’s safe to relax.

Try the “4-7-8” technique: inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This pattern relaxes the nervous system, reduces tension, and creates a quick sense of calm. Practicing this technique regularly, especially in high-stress situations, can help you handle challenges with a clear head and steady nerves.

Mindfulness: Staying Grounded in the Present

Mindfulness is simply about being fully present. Often, stress comes from worrying about the past or future, but mindfulness brings you back to what’s right in front of you. It’s about focusing on the here and now without judgment.

Try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. For instance, if you’re drinking coffee, take a moment to savour the aroma and taste. If you’re working, focus on the task at hand without letting your mind wander. Engaging fully with your surroundings and actions helps reduce anxiety, making you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Physical Activity as a Form of Release

While exercise might not seem like a spiritual practice, physical movement can be grounding and healing. Activities like yoga, hiking, or even a simple walk outdoors connect you to your body and help release pent-up energy. Exercise reduces stress hormones and boosts
endorphins, helping you feel more balanced.

Finding Your Spiritual Routine

Managing stress and anxiety isn’t about following a rigid routine. It’s about exploring what resonates with you and creating a set of practices that fit your lifestyle. Maybe it’s a few minutes of meditation in the morning, breathwork during a busy workday, or mindfulness in daily activities. These small moments can make a big difference.

Remember, building a stress-resistant life takes time and patience. Investing in these spiritual practices will create a foundation of inner peace, clarity, and resilience, helping you handle whatever life brings.

Emotions

Resilience for Real Life: Practical Tools to Stay Strong and Grounded

When life throws challenges your way—whether it’s work stress, personal setbacks, or unexpected changes, building resilience can make all the difference. Resilience isn’t about forcing yourself through tough times; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that helps you bounce back and grow.

For men navigating high-pressure situations, spiritual practices like meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork can offer powerful tools to support that resilience and build lasting mental and emotional strength. Yet many men don’t take advantage of these tools. Stop for a moment and listen to the suggestions below.

Meditation: A Moment of Stillness to Recharge

Meditation might seem like a stretch if you’re new to it, but think of it as a practical reset for your mind. In the midst of a demanding day, even five or ten minutes of meditation can bring a sense of calm and clarity. This simple practice creates space where you can pause, let go of distractions, and refocus on what matters most.

I had an introverted manager who had to give weekly stand-up chats to his team of 40+ people. We worked in an open plan office, but just before the presentation he would turn his back on us and look at a picture on the wall behind his chair. This gave him the calmness to give the standup with clear and effective communication. His stand-ups became well loved and his team looked forward to them.

To get started, find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Let your mind settle, noticing thoughts as they arise without getting pulled into them. With each breath, you’re becoming calmer and more focused. As you breath out you let go of whatever no longer serves you, helping you handle life’s demands with a little more ease and resilience. This short exercise is also good for your blood pressure.

Mindfulness: Staying in the Present

Mindfulness is about fully engaging in what you’re doing right now – no multitasking, no mental to-do lists. When work and life get busy, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or future worries. Your mind is jumping from one thing to another. Practicing mindfulness can help you break that cycle, grounding you in the present moment and giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. You can practice it anytime, anywhere – whether you’re working, exercising, or even just enjoying a meal. Focus on the experience itself, noticing the details and sensations. Staying present like this builds a steady, grounded mindset that can help you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity.

Breathwork: Taking Control of Stress

Your breath is a powerful tool for managing stress, and specific breathwork techniques can quickly bring calm and balance into any stressful situation. When pressure mounts, it’s easy to fall into shallow, fast breathing, which only adds to the tension. By practicing deep, controlled breathing, you can stay grounded, even when things get tough.

Try the “4-7-8” breathing technique: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. It only takes a few rounds to feel a shift in your stress levels, helping you regain focus and stay in control. Just three deep breaths can make you feel very different.

Building a Routine That Fits

Building resilience doesn’t mean you need a complicated routine. It’s about finding simple practices that resonate with you and fit into your life. Try different approaches to see what works best – a short meditation in the morning, a mindful break during the day, or breathwork to settle your nerves when stress spikes. Over time, you’ll have a tool kit to support you through any challenge, helping you build a deeper sense of resilience and inner strength.

When life gets challenging, these practices are here to help you stay grounded, resilient, and ready for whatever comes next.

Life Lessons

Mindfulness Made Easy: Quick Practices for Busy Women to Stay Grounded and Centred

Let’s face it: life can be a whirlwind. With so much on our plates, finding calm can feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But here’s the good news—mindfulness doesn’t need to take hours of your day. With a few simple practices, you can find little moments of peace, even in the busiest times. Let’s explore a few ways to stay grounded that fit right into a busy schedule.

  1. Start Your Day with a Gentle Intention

Take a few deep breaths when you wake up. Ask yourself, “What do I need most today?” Whether it’s calm, focus, or energy, setting a gentle intention only takes a moment but can really set the tone for your day. Being positive about your day when you wake up and directing what you want to have in it, has a powerful effect. It’s a small but strong way to remind yourself that you matter, too.

  1. Try “Pause Breaths” During Stressful Moments

When you feel the stress creeping in, pause. Close your eyes if you can, take a deep breath in, hold it, and then slowly release. Repeat this at least three times. Even just a minute of mindful breathing can reset your nerves and help you feel more present. These little “pause breaths” are always there for you when you need them.

  1. Single-Task When You Can

With so much going on, it’s easy to fall into multitasking, but try to focus on one thing at a time when possible. Multitasking can be stressful and studies show you can be less effective operating like this as it takes time to switch intellectually from one task to another. Notice the sensations of whatever you’re doing—washing dishes, folding laundry, anything. It brings you into the moment and helps keep your mind from running all over the place. Personally, I get my best spiritual messages when I am doing a big pile of ironing!

  1. Find “Mindful Minutes”

Those tiny pauses in your day—waiting in line, sitting with your morning coffee—are golden opportunities to bring in mindfulness. Feel the warmth of your coffee mug or the air around you. Even just a moment of awareness can bring a sense of calm to your day. You may feel your energy relaxing and your body being more comfortable.

  1. Be Gentle with Yourself

Most importantly, give yourself a bit of grace. Be kind to yourself as you would your best friend. Mindfulness isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about bringing a little more kindness into your day. When you’re feeling stressed, remind yourself, “I’m doing my best.” Because you are, and that’s more than enough.

 

Remember, mindfulness doesn’t require perfection; it’s just about finding little ways to feel more present and grounded in your life right now.

Try these tips, and remember, you’re doing a wonderful job.