Is kindness worth the effort?

Published by Alison Wem on

When I was growing up, I used to play with a small group of girls who lived nearby. Generally, we all got on and we played happily together. After the long summer holidays together, perhaps we had spent too much time together and one of us would say or do something unkind.

When I used to go running to my mum upset, she did not say – oh you poor thing. Instead, she used to ask me to imagine how that person must feel inside to be so unkind. I should feel grateful that I didn’t feel like that.

A little kindness can go a long way.

The pain from unkindness can be intense. It doesn’t remain in childhood with friendship upsets. Unkindness can appear in adult life, often when you least expect it and sometimes from those closest to you such as a partner. The pain can go straight to your heart and make you feel wretched. When you feel like that, it is really hard to step back and not give some unkind response aimed to hurt. But in doing this, the only person you really hurt is yourself. If you are trying to live by strong life values, being unkind is not one of them.

When someone is unkind to you, being unkind to them back is not the right response.

The best way to counter unkindness is to show kindness. It may not be a big thing but a thoughtful, gentle kindness. In being kind to the other person, you are honouring yourself and being kind to yourself too.

We have all been unkind sometime, often through thoughtlessness rather than malicious intent. It takes consideration to use kind words, kind words can be healing, loving and inspiring.

Kindness is such a good contribution to make to this world of ours.

Kindness brings harmony and love to human relationships and living. When kindness is abundant in a relationship, that relationship is often joyful. Living a life surrounded by kindness is a good life.

 

 

This post is dedicated to those who try to practice kind words and acts of kindness.

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Emotions

Resilience for Real Life: Practical Tools to Stay Strong and Grounded

When life throws challenges your way—whether it’s work stress, personal setbacks, or unexpected changes, building resilience can make all the difference. Resilience isn’t about forcing yourself through tough times; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that helps you bounce back and grow.

For men navigating high-pressure situations, spiritual practices like meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork can offer powerful tools to support that resilience and build lasting mental and emotional strength. Yet many men don’t take advantage of these tools. Stop for a moment and listen to the suggestions below.

Meditation: A Moment of Stillness to Recharge

Meditation might seem like a stretch if you’re new to it, but think of it as a practical reset for your mind. In the midst of a demanding day, even five or ten minutes of meditation can bring a sense of calm and clarity. This simple practice creates space where you can pause, let go of distractions, and refocus on what matters most.

I had an introverted manager who had to give weekly stand-up chats to his team of 40+ people. We worked in an open plan office, but just before the presentation he would turn his back on us and look at a picture on the wall behind his chair. This gave him the calmness to give the standup with clear and effective communication. His stand-ups became well loved and his team looked forward to them.

To get started, find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Let your mind settle, noticing thoughts as they arise without getting pulled into them. With each breath, you’re becoming calmer and more focused. As you breath out you let go of whatever no longer serves you, helping you handle life’s demands with a little more ease and resilience. This short exercise is also good for your blood pressure.

Mindfulness: Staying in the Present

Mindfulness is about fully engaging in what you’re doing right now – no multitasking, no mental to-do lists. When work and life get busy, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or future worries. Your mind is jumping from one thing to another. Practicing mindfulness can help you break that cycle, grounding you in the present moment and giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. You can practice it anytime, anywhere – whether you’re working, exercising, or even just enjoying a meal. Focus on the experience itself, noticing the details and sensations. Staying present like this builds a steady, grounded mindset that can help you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity.

Breathwork: Taking Control of Stress

Your breath is a powerful tool for managing stress, and specific breathwork techniques can quickly bring calm and balance into any stressful situation. When pressure mounts, it’s easy to fall into shallow, fast breathing, which only adds to the tension. By practicing deep, controlled breathing, you can stay grounded, even when things get tough.

Try the “4-7-8” breathing technique: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. It only takes a few rounds to feel a shift in your stress levels, helping you regain focus and stay in control. Just three deep breaths can make you feel very different.

Building a Routine That Fits

Building resilience doesn’t mean you need a complicated routine. It’s about finding simple practices that resonate with you and fit into your life. Try different approaches to see what works best – a short meditation in the morning, a mindful break during the day, or breathwork to settle your nerves when stress spikes. Over time, you’ll have a tool kit to support you through any challenge, helping you build a deeper sense of resilience and inner strength.

When life gets challenging, these practices are here to help you stay grounded, resilient, and ready for whatever comes next.

Life Lessons

Mindfulness Made Easy: Quick Practices for Busy Women to Stay Grounded and Centred

Let’s face it: life can be a whirlwind. With so much on our plates, finding calm can feel like just another thing on the to-do list. But here’s the good news—mindfulness doesn’t need to take hours of your day. With a few simple practices, you can find little moments of peace, even in the busiest times. Let’s explore a few ways to stay grounded that fit right into a busy schedule.

  1. Start Your Day with a Gentle Intention

Take a few deep breaths when you wake up. Ask yourself, “What do I need most today?” Whether it’s calm, focus, or energy, setting a gentle intention only takes a moment but can really set the tone for your day. Being positive about your day when you wake up and directing what you want to have in it, has a powerful effect. It’s a small but strong way to remind yourself that you matter, too.

  1. Try “Pause Breaths” During Stressful Moments

When you feel the stress creeping in, pause. Close your eyes if you can, take a deep breath in, hold it, and then slowly release. Repeat this at least three times. Even just a minute of mindful breathing can reset your nerves and help you feel more present. These little “pause breaths” are always there for you when you need them.

  1. Single-Task When You Can

With so much going on, it’s easy to fall into multitasking, but try to focus on one thing at a time when possible. Multitasking can be stressful and studies show you can be less effective operating like this as it takes time to switch intellectually from one task to another. Notice the sensations of whatever you’re doing—washing dishes, folding laundry, anything. It brings you into the moment and helps keep your mind from running all over the place. Personally, I get my best spiritual messages when I am doing a big pile of ironing!

  1. Find “Mindful Minutes”

Those tiny pauses in your day—waiting in line, sitting with your morning coffee—are golden opportunities to bring in mindfulness. Feel the warmth of your coffee mug or the air around you. Even just a moment of awareness can bring a sense of calm to your day. You may feel your energy relaxing and your body being more comfortable.

  1. Be Gentle with Yourself

Most importantly, give yourself a bit of grace. Be kind to yourself as you would your best friend. Mindfulness isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about bringing a little more kindness into your day. When you’re feeling stressed, remind yourself, “I’m doing my best.” Because you are, and that’s more than enough.

 

Remember, mindfulness doesn’t require perfection; it’s just about finding little ways to feel more present and grounded in your life right now.

Try these tips, and remember, you’re doing a wonderful job.

Emotions

Awakening to Purpose: A Midlife Spiritual Guide for Men

As men reach their 40s and 50s, many seek deeper meaning and purpose in life. This stage, often called “midlife,” can be a time of transformation, offering the opportunity to reflect and grow spiritually.

Questions arise about purpose, impact, and alignment with their soul, signalling the beginning of a powerful shift from external achievements to inner fulfilment.

Many spiritual articles focus on a female audience with little guidance or encouragement for men. Their perspective on life can be different from women. This article aims to guide men, but it can equally address the needs of women to understand how spirituality affects men in their lives.

Embracing the Midlife Transition

Midlife is often a time when old identities and roles no longer satisfy you. The drive for career success or external validation fades, making space for a deeper connection with the inner self. Rather than focusing on what’s being left behind, midlife can be seen as a time of transformation. It’s a chance to shed old patterns and step into a more authentic, purposeful life.

Spirituality can offer a guiding light through this process. Like the moon’s cycles, this phase of life invites men to embrace new opportunities for growth by letting go of outdated expectations and exploring new spiritual practices.

The Call for Inner Reflection

Midlife is the perfect time to slow down and engage in inner reflection. Practices like meditation, journaling, or time in nature help quiet the mind, allowing deeper desires and purpose to emerge. These spiritual practices support the shift from external focus to internal exploration, opening the door to self-discovery.

For some, this spiritual journey may involve reading about spirituality or engaging in meaningful conversations. Others may find structure in mindfulness, yoga, or reconnecting with religious traditions. The key is to explore what feels aligned with your inner self.

Finding Purpose through Service

One of the most profound ways to rediscover purpose during midlife is through acts of service. Spiritual growth often comes through helping others, whether it’s mentoring younger men, volunteering, or supporting family members. Giving back helps cultivate a sense of connection and meaning, enriching your life and those around you.

Letting Go of Old Definitions of Success

Midlife brings a need to redefine success. Success has long been tied to career accomplishments, financial security, or status for many men. But as these external markers lose their appeal, it’s essential to shift toward a more personal definition of success, one focused on being present, living authentically, and pursuing deeper meaning.

Stepping into Your New Chapter

Finding purpose in midlife is about embracing a journey, not reaching a final destination. Spiritual growth during this stage invites you to reconnect with your inner self, let go of old expectations, and discover what truly brings meaning to your life. You can step into this new chapter with a renewed sense of purpose through spiritual practices, reflection, and service to others.

Midlife is not an end, but a beginning – a profound opportunity to discover peace and purpose in your life’s journey.