Managing yourself for a happier life: the 3 Ds

Published by Alison Wem on

Meditation is good for learning to go within, find a calmness and re-connect with your sub-conscious mind, higher self or soul depending on your beliefs.  I call it my ‘inner you’ as there is a familiarity with yourself.  Meditation is refreshing.  Afterwards your body feels less tense and your conscious mind clearer.  I often have my best thoughts after a meditation.  Meditation is almost as good as sleep and definitely a friend if you feel jaded and tired.

When you have made regular meditation part of your life and learnt to remain still for 20 minutes, what should you expect?  Most people are seeking a happier life, but what makes for a happier life?

Life is not about owning big houses or building business empires.  A happy life is one where you have a harmonious relationship with the important people in your life, be it your partner, children, manager, friends and neighbours.  Continually working to learn how to improve those relationships leads to a better life. 

The things you are working on will vary depending on who you are.  I call them ‘life lessons’ and include things like learning to listen, feeling able to speak the truth, practising good judgement, holding your personal boundaries and not always saying “Yes”.  Being aware of your life lessons aids you to learn them.  When a scenario arises in your life to practise one of your life lessons, you will approach it differently if you know it is an opportunity rather than just another hassle.

Typically people re-evaluate their life when they hit one of the 3 Ds – death, divorce/separation and debt.  All are challenging scenarios and ask you to learn through losing something you value.  How you cope will depend on you but it is worth thinking about your life lessons and what opportunities this scenario is providing you with to learn.

Your Soul Family (YSF) techniques give you an honest self assessment of your life – the important people in your life and the life lessons you are learning together.  They are simple to learn and take you to the next step in your meditation.  They are simple but much like meditation they do take practise to gain the main benefits.

Your life is a journey and at some point you will look back and realise;

“What seems extraordinary today is ordinary tomorrow”

Alison Wem

YSF techniques

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Your Soul Family

How do I help my children to thrive in this changing world

Our children are often the dearest people in our hearts. We put a lot of time and effort into raising them. We want to know that they can have a good life ahead of them. No matter the age of your children, you never stop being a parent and wanting the best for them.

What can a parent do to help safe-guard their children?

By the nature of living in a changing world, the greatest gift for your child to not only survive within it but to thrive, is being flexible. Careers and jobs are no longer for life. Everyone expects to change them in a life time with a possible geographic move thrown in as well. Technology is moving fast and impacting our lives. Those who do not adopt it and take the best from it, are in danger of being left behind.

Are you being a good role model on flexibility?

While children are growing up, they tend to love routines and structure. These may well be useful and practical for maintaining a family schedule for times to eat and go to bed. But it is also useful to teach your children that changing the schedule is good if it leads to a better place or their environment necessitates it.

This is sometimes easier said than done. My son as a child loved his familiar routine. If we went on holiday, he would not change either the time to eat or sleep. It was a nightmare when we might want to stay out later to enjoy an evening walk or a meal. However, I do feel I brought this on myself. When it was just him and me at home, our lives ran better when we followed a schedule. When his baby sister arrived, we did not have this luxury. I still had to take and collect my son from school. The baby had to learn to wait for a feed or to sleep in her push chair if our family schedule necessitated it. My observation is my daughter grew up coping with being flexible more than my son.

As parents you want to warn your children of the inherent dangers in life. You may encourage them not to talk to strangers when they are little. When they grow older you warn them not to drink too much, to study and work hard, to manage their money carefully.

In all of this there is a danger you make your children fearful. It is important that they remain as curious about the world around them as they were as a baby and toddler.

There is a fine line between following your curiosity and safety

Curiosity keeps you engaged in the world and therefore informed on what may be upcoming in the future. With an understanding of upcoming changes, your children get the chance to consider what it will mean to them and to seek the benefits but mitigate the negatives. This gives them time to prepare and adapt to the changes.

An example of this today maybe Artificial Intelligence (AI). There is much fear around this topic from the risk of it being abused by powerful people and institutions. If this should happen, many people could be impacted negatively. However, used appropriately AI can bring many advantages to every day people like you and me.

If all fails, being resilient will help your children to get through any change that faces them. They may have a life plan of what they want to do, but they should be open to changing it. This can be rapid and significant if it is needed. No-one knows what these changes will be. But being able to ride the change is key to surviving and thriving in a new environment.

The conversations about being flexible, remaining curious and being resilient begin in childhood. However, it is my belief that the most important conversations happen in young adulthood and going forwards. As I said earlier, you never stop being a parent.

Of course, to be qualified to help your children as adults, you need to be all of these things yourself. It will not assist them if you use the rhetoric;

in my day……

Your Soul Family

Grieving over the loss of a loved one?

All of us experience grief at some point in our lives. When we experience it for the first time, it can come as quite a shock. It is often not talked about so it is hard to know how to deal with it.

When someone you love dies it can leave a big hole in your life. It can feel like life is no longer worth living. If there has been an illness and anticipation of death, you may have had the opportunity to say the important things you wanted to say such as how much you love each other or maybe forgiveness for a perceived wrong.

If, like me, the death was sudden and unexpected, you do not get the opportunity to say those important words. I believe that is why people say you should live every day as if it is your last and not to go to bed on an argument.

I believe grieving is the process of saying goodbye. Through this process you experience many emotions.

Listen to Alison Wem’s personal experience of widowhood and how to navigate the grieving process.

Listen here

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life Get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp/phone.

Your Soul Family

Christmas is nearly here: feeling panicky?

Sadly preparation for Christmas can send many people into a panic. All those presents to find for the people most important to you in your life. How will you find something that brings joy, sends your love and shares some truths on life and living.

Don’t make it hard for yourself. Help is at hand. 

Here are a few inexpensive books that make great presents for those who are curious about life. Be the person to ignite your loved ones curiosity and help them to achieve a greater awareness of who they really are.

Alison Wem’s book reviews:

    

 

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp depending on location.