Managing yourself for a happier life: the 3 Ds

Published by Alison Wem on

Meditation is good for learning to go within, find a calmness and re-connect with your sub-conscious mind, higher self or soul depending on your beliefs.  I call it my ‘inner you’ as there is a familiarity with yourself.  Meditation is refreshing.  Afterwards your body feels less tense and your conscious mind clearer.  I often have my best thoughts after a meditation.  Meditation is almost as good as sleep and definitely a friend if you feel jaded and tired.

When you have made regular meditation part of your life and learnt to remain still for 20 minutes, what should you expect?  Most people are seeking a happier life, but what makes for a happier life?

Life is not about owning big houses or building business empires.  A happy life is one where you have a harmonious relationship with the important people in your life, be it your partner, children, manager, friends and neighbours.  Continually working to learn how to improve those relationships leads to a better life. 

The things you are working on will vary depending on who you are.  I call them ‘life lessons’ and include things like learning to listen, feeling able to speak the truth, practising good judgement, holding your personal boundaries and not always saying “Yes”.  Being aware of your life lessons aids you to learn them.  When a scenario arises in your life to practise one of your life lessons, you will approach it differently if you know it is an opportunity rather than just another hassle.

Typically people re-evaluate their life when they hit one of the 3 Ds – death, divorce/separation and debt.  All are challenging scenarios and ask you to learn through losing something you value.  How you cope will depend on you but it is worth thinking about your life lessons and what opportunities this scenario is providing you with to learn.

Your Soul Family (YSF) techniques give you an honest self assessment of your life – the important people in your life and the life lessons you are learning together.  They are simple to learn and take you to the next step in your meditation.  They are simple but much like meditation they do take practise to gain the main benefits.

Your life is a journey and at some point you will look back and realise;

“What seems extraordinary today is ordinary tomorrow”

Alison Wem

YSF techniques

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Your Soul Family

Christmas is nearly here: feeling panicky?

Sadly preparation for Christmas can send many people into a panic. All those presents to find for the people most important to you in your life. How will you find something that brings joy, sends your love and shares some truths on life and living.

Don’t make it hard for yourself. Help is at hand. 

Here are a few inexpensive books that make great presents for those who are curious about life. Be the person to ignite your loved ones curiosity and help them to achieve a greater awareness of who they really are.

Alison Wem’s book reviews:

    

Of course I would love it if you tried one of my books. One of my favourites is Secrets of Your Soul. There are lots of lovely little stories of past lives. They are easy to read and come with an illustration. A good read with some spiritual messages. If you hurry, there is still time to order it and get it delivered before Christmas.

Click here for the UK and here for the US

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via Zoom/WhatsApp depending on location.

 

Meditation

Clear Your Mind: A Practical Guide to Meditation for Men

Life can feel like a juggling act – work, relationships, responsibilities. It’s no wonder your mind might feel scattered or your focus lacking. Meditation is the tool you didn’t know you needed to cut through the noise and bring clarity to your day. And no, it’s not about sitting cross-legged in silence for hours. It’s practical, effective, and, best of all, easy to start.

Why Meditation?

Think of your mind like a muscle. If it’s constantly overworked without rest, it’s bound to lose strength. Meditation trains your mind to focus, helping you cut through distractions and approach tasks with clarity. It’s not about emptying your mind – it’s about learning to guide it where you want it to go.

Step 1: Keep It Simple

You don’t need incense or chants to meditate (unless you want to). Start small. Here’s a straightforward practice you can try:

  1. Find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted.
  2. Sit comfortably – on a chair, a couch, or the floor.
  3. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it for a moment, then slowly exhale out through your mouth.
  4. Focus on your breath. Feel the air entering and leaving your body.

That’s it. Set a timer for 5 minutes to start. Gradually increase the time as it feels right.

As you increase your time, after five deep breaths return to normal breathing. Feel how the energy goes from your lungs down through your body and up to the crown of your head. Explore how your mind and body feels.

Even a few extra minutes can make a big difference.

Step 2: Handle Distractions Like a Pro

Your mind will wander – it’s natural. You’ll think about work deadlines, dinner plans, or that random thing you forgot to do last week. Please don’t beat yourself up over it. When you notice your mind drifting, gently bring it back to your breath. Over time, this “mental reset” becomes easier and spills over into your day-to-day life, helping you refocus on tasks more effectively.

Step 3: Add Purpose

If focusing on your breath feels too simple, try a mantra or visualisation. A mantra is a short repeated phrase, like “I am focused” or “I am calm.” Visualisation involves picturing a scene that brings you clarity, like standing on a mountain with a clear view.

Both practices can keep your mind engaged while reinforcing positive thoughts.

Step 4: Make It a Habit

The key to success? Consistency. Start by meditating at the same time every day – maybe first thing in the morning or during your lunch break. Think of it as part of your daily routine, like brushing your teeth. Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer can help guide you if you’re unsure where to start.

The Payoff
Meditation doesn’t take long to show results. After a few days, you might notice your mind feels sharper, tasks feel less overwhelming, and stress starts to fade. Over weeks and months, you’ll likely find you’re more present, productive, and at peace.

So why not give it a try? Just a few minutes a day can transform how you approach life’s challenges. Meditation isn’t just about sitting still—it’s about stepping into the world with focus, clarity, and confidence.

Start today. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

Your Soul Family

Your Peaceful Place: Designing a Sacred Space at Home

Constant noise and distractions seem to be the norm of the 21st century. I really notice the difference when I return to London after being in the rural countryside. This has led me to believe creating a sacred space at home is essential for nurturing your spiritual well-being. Many women value a peaceful environment; a personal sanctuary can bring balance and inner calm. Whether you have an entire room or just a small corner, a sacred space is where you can retreat and recharge.

Here’s how to create your own sacred space to support your spiritual journey and promote inner peace.

Choose Your Space Wisely

You don’t need a large area, but the space should be somewhere you feel comfortable and undisturbed. A quiet corner in your bedroom, a nook by the window, or even a section of your garden can work perfectly. Focus on an area that feels safe, calm, and inviting.

Natural light can enhance the atmosphere, so choose a spot with soft lighting if possible. If not, use gentle artificial lighting to create a warm, peaceful ambiance.

Clear and Cleanse the Space

Start by decluttering your chosen area. An uncluttered space invites a clear, calm mind. Once the physical space is cleared, cleanse it energetically. You can use sage, palo santo, or incense to purify the air and set the tone for peace and healing. If you are unable to do this, you can clear a space energetically by clapping your hands.

While cleansing, set an intention for the space. Whether for inner peace, healing, or spiritual growth, your space will hold the energy you infuse into it.

Bring in Elements of Nature

Incorporating nature helps ground your space. You can add plants, crystals, seashells, or stones, anything that connects you to the earth. Each of these elements brings its own energy. Plants purify the air, while crystals can offer specific healing properties, depending on your needs.

Select items that resonate with you and create a sense of peace and harmony. I like to change these items with the seasons. The autumn has arrived in the UK. As the leaves on the trees change to wonderful colours, I will definitely be making use of them in my sacred space.

Create Comfort and Warmth

Comfort is vital in your sacred space. Add cushions, soft blankets, or a meditation pillow to create a cozy environment. Choose seating that fits how you intend to use the space, whether it’s for meditation, journaling, or quiet reflection.

Candles can also enhance the sense of warmth. Beeswax or essential oil-infused candles are ideal, and lighting one can mark the start of your sacred time.

Personalise Your Space

This is your sanctuary, so personalise it with items that are meaningful to you. Add spiritual symbols, personal mementos, or artwork that inspires and uplifts you. You might include a small altar with objects representing what you wish to invite into your life – peace, love, or clarity.

Use Your Space with Intention

The power of your sacred space comes from using it regularly. Whether for meditation, yoga, or simple moments of silence, make it a habit to retreat there daily. Set an intention each time you enter, aligning the space’s energy with your spiritual goals.

Creating a sacred space at home is a simple yet powerful way to nurture your inner peace. You’ll create a sanctuary that supports your spiritual well-being by choosing a space, cleansing it, adding natural elements, and using it intentionally.