Relaxation: learn to breath deeply and consciously

Published by Alison Wem on

Mindfulness is a commonly used term these days. However it is true that breathing consciously or just being still brings calmness which enhances your concentration, lowers blood pressure and aids sleep quality. All are good for enhancing your performance at work and improves your well-being.

The simplest way to induce stillness is to take deep breaths.

I work at home on my own. It can be hard to keep my boundaries between home and work life. Each day I go for a walk, preferably in the park. Today I tried conscious breathing to see if it improved me living in the moment and finding happiness in that moment. It is a simple exercise;

  1.  Take a deep breath in – say ‘In’.
  2.  Breath out – say ‘Out’.

Repeat this at least 3 times. As you breath in, your mind and body becomes peaceful. As you breath out, all that you do not want leaves you, it may be frustration, upset, boredom.

Recently I have found that when I go for my walk I am thinking about all the things I need to get done, my back is bowed and I am looking at the ground. This is not good for me. Today I did this exercise in the park with people walking around me with some surprising results.

I was standing amongst some trees and I noticed the brown, dry autumn leaves on the ground. A rather fat squirrel was running towards me. I suspect he had got used to being fed by humans. When I did not offer anything, he ran off. Two big, black crows were looking amongst the leaves for grubs. Suddenly they took to their wings and flew to the tree tops. My eyes followed them. I noticed a green parakeet, you increasingly see them as they have escaped captivity. They add a splash of colour to our parks. Then I noticed the clouds scudding across the sky and heard the cry of sea gulls. It must be stormy at sea and they have moved inland. As the crow flies, London is really not far from the sea.

All of this happened in a matter of a few minutes. I felt calm, contented and happy. For this precious time, I had left my worries behind. Afterwards I felt both relaxed and energised. A good way to start my afternoon.

The exercise is simple, can be done anywhere and gives great benefits. Try to repeat it everyday at the same time to make it a habit.  When I was in a stressful corporate job I did this exercise after my drive to work before I went into the office. I started my day … feeling calm and competent.

Be kind to yourself – learn to relax

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via a video call depending on location.

Upcoming events with Alison Wem – look here

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Emotions

Resilience for Real Life: Practical Tools to Stay Strong and Grounded

When life throws challenges your way—whether it’s work stress, personal setbacks, or unexpected changes, building resilience can make all the difference. Resilience isn’t about forcing yourself through tough times; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that helps you bounce back and grow.

For men navigating high-pressure situations, spiritual practices like meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork can offer powerful tools to support that resilience and build lasting mental and emotional strength. Yet many men don’t take advantage of these tools. Stop for a moment and listen to the suggestions below.

Meditation: A Moment of Stillness to Recharge

Meditation might seem like a stretch if you’re new to it, but think of it as a practical reset for your mind. In the midst of a demanding day, even five or ten minutes of meditation can bring a sense of calm and clarity. This simple practice creates space where you can pause, let go of distractions, and refocus on what matters most.

I had an introverted manager who had to give weekly stand-up chats to his team of 40+ people. We worked in an open plan office, but just before the presentation he would turn his back on us and look at a picture on the wall behind his chair. This gave him the calmness to give the standup with clear and effective communication. His stand-ups became well loved and his team looked forward to them.

To get started, find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Let your mind settle, noticing thoughts as they arise without getting pulled into them. With each breath, you’re becoming calmer and more focused. As you breath out you let go of whatever no longer serves you, helping you handle life’s demands with a little more ease and resilience. This short exercise is also good for your blood pressure.

Mindfulness: Staying in the Present

Mindfulness is about fully engaging in what you’re doing right now – no multitasking, no mental to-do lists. When work and life get busy, it’s easy to get caught up in distractions or future worries. Your mind is jumping from one thing to another. Practicing mindfulness can help you break that cycle, grounding you in the present moment and giving your mind a much-needed break.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take a lot of time. You can practice it anytime, anywhere – whether you’re working, exercising, or even just enjoying a meal. Focus on the experience itself, noticing the details and sensations. Staying present like this builds a steady, grounded mindset that can help you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity.

Breathwork: Taking Control of Stress

Your breath is a powerful tool for managing stress, and specific breathwork techniques can quickly bring calm and balance into any stressful situation. When pressure mounts, it’s easy to fall into shallow, fast breathing, which only adds to the tension. By practicing deep, controlled breathing, you can stay grounded, even when things get tough.

Try the “4-7-8” breathing technique: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. It only takes a few rounds to feel a shift in your stress levels, helping you regain focus and stay in control. Just three deep breaths can make you feel very different.

Building a Routine That Fits

Building resilience doesn’t mean you need a complicated routine. It’s about finding simple practices that resonate with you and fit into your life. Try different approaches to see what works best – a short meditation in the morning, a mindful break during the day, or breathwork to settle your nerves when stress spikes. Over time, you’ll have a tool kit to support you through any challenge, helping you build a deeper sense of resilience and inner strength.

When life gets challenging, these practices are here to help you stay grounded, resilient, and ready for whatever comes next.

Life Lessons

How do I lead a soulful life?

There are always those things you feel you should get done but know in your heart you never will. Perhaps you agreed to arrange to meet someone you are not very keen on or its to clean out those dreaded items at the back of the wardrobe.

But what about those things that you know are important but can’t seem to get done?

How many times have you made a definite decision to do something?

There is no doubt – you are determined. Yet nothing happens. Why not?

Is your heart in agreement with your head?

You receive the promptings from your soul in your heart. Your soul encourages you to steer your life in the direction of your soul’s purpose. Time and energy spent on more mundane things in your life are of less interest to your soul.

Of course, you have the free will to listen to the promptings from your heart or to do the logical things which you want and need to do. We are all human, so there are basic things you need to do to live, such as provide a home and put food on the table. The Universe understands this, but is perhaps less excited by them.

Like many things, it is a case of balance.

You need time to be human, but you also need time to be with your soul and follow your soul’s purpose.

When you and your soul are aligned, you are at your most productive. Things just happen. What seemed impossible becomes possible. Doors seem to open and you are in the flow of life.

My experience is to be discerning on how you distribute your time and energy to tasks. Try giving a balanced amount to the human things you need to do and those that bring you joy, excitement and fun or help you along your spiritual path. If you become totally immersed in the former, there is no time left for the latter. It really is about you choosing your own priorities and consciously living your life as you want to. So many people are allowing themselves to be pulled in different directions by other people. The goal is to learn to;

Integrate soulful activities into your everyday life.

This is not as arduous as it sounds. Promptings from the heart are often about human behaviour. It may be as simple as saying thankful or helping someone who needs it.

When you feel in your heart something is right – this is the thing to do.

Life and Living

Back to work: how do you keep the relaxed feel from the break?

Many of us have now gone back to work.  After the long Festive break, you will be adjusting back to the relentless pace of business.

Stress resides not in the mind but in the nervous system. Our ‘fight or flight’ response raises our cortisol level causing the sympathetic nervous system to activate. Our bodies are designed for a raised cortisol level but only in short bursts to aid our survival. However in our modern ‘always on the go’ life style, many people live with chronic raised cortisol levels leading to slow digestion, sleep disruption and other side effects.

Rest and relaxation reduces our cortisol level.  Some will have achieved this in the long festive break, but the question is;

How do you maintain an appropriate cortisol level once you are back at work?

Taking a break of not less than 15 minutes has a big impact on your cortisol level.  These breaks can and should be simple such as a walk, a coffee and a magazine, sitting in a park, taking a bath, listening to some music.  All of these breaks should be discrete and separate.  There is little value in a break where you spend the entire time worrying about a problem.

 The aim of the break is to slow the mind, for calmness to arrive which then allows the body to relax. 15 minutes is all it takes. Try to decide where and how in your day you would get the most value from it.

Your concentration will improve which will increase your effectiveness and efficiency at work, well worth the 15 minutes.

Be kind to yourself – learn to relax

If you relate to this article and need some more help and guidance in your life – get in touch with Alison. Here are her contact details.

Click to contact me Here

Tel: +44 7966 137568  Email: alison.wem@yoursoulfamily.com

Available face-to-face or via WhatsApp/Zoom depending on your location.