life guidance

Back to work: how do you keep the relaxed feel from the break?

Many of us have now gone back to work.  After the long Festive break, you will be adjusting back to the relentless pace of business.

Stress resides not in the mind but in the nervous system. Our ‘fight or flight’ response raises our cortisol level causing the sympathetic nervous system to activate. Our bodies are designed for a raised cortisol level but only in short bursts to aid our survival. However in our modern ‘always on the go’ life style, many people live with chronic raised cortisol levels leading to slow digestion, sleep disruption and other side effects. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Feeling sad when everyone else is happy?

Sadness often goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. You can feel lonely in an unhappy relationship, family or city. Humans are tribal by nature so loneliness is the hardest of conditions. I experienced loneliness as a widow in my 40s. With two children life was very busy but inside I had an aching loneliness. I count my blessings that I fell in love again and my husband came with a large, boisterous and loving family.

Over Christmas and the New Year festivities many of us have enjoyed time with friends and family – even if there were some irritations along the way. Sadly many have spent this time alone. Or a person who normally lives alone, who has spent time with people, is now faced with going home to a lonely life. How daunting is that? read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Families: how to make them stronger so they stay together?

In the UK and I suspect many other countries too, the school half term is now over.

How did the holiday break go with you and your family?

This includes grandparents and anyone else who may have been involved with providing child care for younger children or ‘entertainment’ for older ones in half term week.

Hopefully you all had a wonderful time. But if my memory of being a working mum serves me right, this was not always the case. There is often so much expectation of the fun of being together, but without the ground work already in place, anticipation can turn to disappointment, frustration and fatigue. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Women: Do Christmas with the minimum fuss

The approach to Christmas can be a challenging time. Women are often the main organiser of school costumes for nativities, other social events, presents, and the food preparation for the day. Of course this is on top of normal daily activities. It is not a wonder many women are tense over the pre-Christmas period. Do you recognise the scenario?

However there are things women can do to help themselves. Lets look at some tips for the woman of the house…..

Tip #1  Stay calm – remember that the people coming on Christmas Day are friends and family. The day is not a test, they love you. Everything does not have to be perfect, only you want that.  Do not be afraid to delegate tasks. read more

By Alison Wem, ago

Men: 3 tips for surviving Christmas

The approach to Christmas can be a challenging time. Not only is it a busy time for the person preparing the Christmas Day celebrations, but tension can run in families where couples do not agree on the style of celebrations. Do you recognise the scenario?
Lets look at some tips for the man of the house….. Tip #1  Remember your partner is doing their best to make Christmas a joyous and happy time for all. A little encouragement can go a long way. Tip #2 Rather than complain about the amount of money being spent, try to find some alternative treats or better still make or cook some. Tip #3 Try not to be grumpy if the treats you want are not the same as those your loved ones want. Flexibility at least for Christmas Day will bring family harmony. Apologies for these suggestions to the men who are encouraging, relaxed about the money being spent and flexible with doing what the rest of the family wants on Christmas Day…… 3 tips tomorrow for women on surviving Christmas.
By Alison Wem, ago

Soul Map: 7 steps to understanding you and your life

Examples of student soul maps

Need a soul map?

For Alison Wem, that realisation came in the early hours as, newly widowed with children and a demanding job, she confronted her anguish – and found a space of calmness and route to strength, love and guidance.

Follow 7 easy-to-do steps to create your soul map, a route to your ‘inner you’– your sub-conscious mind, higher self or soul, depending on your beliefs.  Gain insight into who you are and where your life is going. Identify who is on this journey with you and how you are helping each other with learning life lessons.

You have already taken the biggest step, which is to find out about your ‘inner you’. You are now just seven simple steps from creating your own soul map, the route back to your ‘inner you’.

You have already taken the biggest step – deciding to find out about your ‘inner you’.

1.  Find a quiet space read more

By Alison Wem, ago