Turning unkindness into something positive

Published by Alison Wem on

You came into this life to learn and to enjoy the gift of life. Someone being unkind to you can feel like it disrupts this. We learn through challenges but sometimes an unkindness, particularly if it’s from someone close to you or that you love, seems to double how hard it feels.

The experience of unkindness is not the lesson.

No one wants you to experience pain.

The learning comes from how you choose to respond to the unkindness.

Your response can reflect in how you behave with others, but equally important is how do you behave to yourself. Do you allow the unkindness to strike at your heart and to unduly affect your energy and well-being?

Of course, you should consider what the other person did or said to you. Try to be clear on;

  • was there an element of truth in what they said or did from which you can learn, but it was put across clumsily or cruelly?
  • Or, was it a plain old-fashioned unkindness driven perhaps by jealousy, envy or any other negative emotion?

Whichever basis the unkindness came from, with this knowledge you can act more wisely with yourself. In both scenarios you will need to comfort and nurture yourself. But the learning will be different depending on the scenario.

If there was an element of truth in the unkindness, you may choose to adjust something in your life. But it is your choice, no one else’s. You should feel in control of what you do with your life. The change will only be affective if you accept the situation you need to change.

If it was an unkindness, you can choose not to allow it to impact you. This can be easier said than done, but the lesson may be about being strong such as having confidence in yourself and how you behave or make decisions, or holding your boundaries. Only you will know this.

If you are in this situation, you may want to make some changes in your life not to allow this person to do this again to you.

You are the most important person in your life

To be truly happy in your life, I feel it is about taking responsibility for it. Your choices today give you the life you experience tomorrow.

When you choose consciously and wisely, happiness will follow.

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