Why is my life and those in it so difficult?

Published by Alison Wem on

Life is a journey we all make whether it is consciously or unconsciously. While you may feel your life is out of control or more difficult than other people’s life, you have more control and influence over your life than perhaps you realise.

See your life as a train carriage and you are the conductor who decides who comes into your carriage. Of course, when you are young, you need people to take care of you. But as you grow, you gain strength as the conductor of your life.

The choices you make today will reflect the life you enjoy or perhaps endure tomorrow.

You choose the life you experience including the people in it. But you might say;

I was unexpectedly widowed. What control did I have over that life event?

You would be right to say you had no control over that event, but you do have control over how you respond to it. I purposefully say ‘respond’ as it is a much more considered action that ‘react’. If you loved your partner, you will feel sad and bereft. But you get to choose whether you stay that way for the rest of your life or you take steps to re-build your life.

I speak from experience as I was unexpectedly widowed in my 40s. For some time I was very sad and cried a lot. When people asked me my age, I even got that wrong and said I was a year older than I actually was. I think I felt old or perhaps I was just in shock.

It was my Mum who finally said;

It’s time for you to take control of your life. Agreed it is sad your husband passed, but do you want you children to grow up in an atmosphere of sadness and feeling alone? You need to own your life, know who you are and rebuild your life.

I remember feeling rather cross with my Mum, who was a widow herself. But on reflection, I knew she was right. I wanted laughter in my house and my children to feel it was a safe and happy place to be. I set out to work on myself and my life. Two years later I found new love and re-married. A whole new and refreshing chapter of my life opened up.

Widowhood is not the only challenging life event. There are many more such as loosing a child, divorce, redundancy, a business failing. In all of these types of events, it is about –

Owning your life and the challenges you find in it. Love yourself and re-build again. Find the courage within to make a course correction if you need to.

Do tell me about your approach to life. Drop a comment on what challenges have you faced and how did you overcome them?

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Navigating Family Tensions During the Holidays: A Spiritual Guide to Harmony

The holidays are a time for joy, connection, and celebration, but they can also bring up old wounds, unspoken grievances, and family tensions. It’s natural – bringing everyone together can create the perfect storm for misunderstandings or disagreements. But with a spiritual perspective, you can approach these moments gracefully and develop a sense of harmony for yourself and your loved ones. Here’s how:

  1. Set Intentions for Peace

Before your family gathering, take a moment to ground yourself. Light a candle, meditate, or say a prayer with the intention of fostering understanding and peace. Visualise the gathering as harmonious, with each family member feeling heard and valued. Your positive energy can ripple out, influencing the overall mood.

  1. Practice Mindful Listening

Conflicts often arise when people feel unheard or misunderstood. Instead of reacting defensively, try active listening. Take a deep breath, centre yourself, and listen to what’s being said without judgment. Reflect on what you hear to show you’re genuinely trying to understand, even if you disagree.

  1. Cultivate Compassion

Remember that everyone carries their own burdens and wounds. Aunt Mary’s sharp comments might stem from her own insecurities or pain. Approach each interaction with compassion. A simple internal mantra like, “I choose understanding over anger,” can help keep your heart open and your spirit calm.

  1. Create Sacred Space

If tensions rise, excuse yourself for a moment to breathe and recalibrate. Step outside, connect with nature, or find a quiet corner to close your eyes and visualise releasing negativity. Even five minutes of calm can restore balance and help you approach challenges more clearly.

  1. Focus on Gratitude

Amid the chaos, focus on the blessings. No matter how imperfect, a family gathering is an opportunity to connect, celebrate, and learn from each other. Gratitude shifts your perspective from what’s wrong to what’s right, creating a more uplifting experience for all.

  1. Establish Boundaries with Love

If a conversation becomes too heated, it’s okay to steer it elsewhere or step away kindly. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish – it’s essential for maintaining your peace and honouring your energy.

This holiday season, let your spiritual practice guide you through the ebbs and flows of family dynamics.

 

With patience, compassion, and a focus on the higher good, you can navigate challenges gracefully and create an atmosphere of love and understanding that everyone will feel.

 

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Strengthening Body and Spirit: The Hidden Benefits of Fitness and Discipline

In a fast-paced world, physical fitness is often seen as a way to stay healthy and look good. But what if exercise could do more than that? What if it could also strengthen your spirit and deepen your sense of purpose? When approached with discipline, physical fitness offers incredible spiritual and mental benefits that go far beyond.

Building Discipline: A Path to Inner Strength

Consistency in physical fitness is a form of discipline, and discipline has a profound spiritual impact. By showing up for yourself, whether lifting weights, running, or practicing yoga, you cultivate self-respect and resilience.

Discipline teaches you to embrace discomfort for the sake of growth, a principle that mirrors spiritual practices like meditation or fasting. Over time, sticking to your fitness routine strengthens not just your body but also your willpower and ability to navigate challenges in other areas of life.

Movement as Meditation

Have you ever felt completely in the zone during a run or weightlifting session? That flow state – where time seems to disappear – is a meditative experience. Physical activity helps quiet the mental chatter, grounding you in the present moment.

Running, cycling, or even walking outdoors can become a spiritual practice when done mindfully. Focus on your breath, the rhythm of your steps, or the sensations in your body. In these moments, exercise transforms into a moving meditation, connecting your mind, body, and spirit.

The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection

Physical fitness bridges the gap between the physical and the spiritual. When your body feels strong and energised, your mind is clearer, and you’re better equipped to connect with your spiritual self. Exercise boosts endorphins, reduces stress, and creates a sense of inner calm that can enhance prayer, meditation, or introspection.

A healthy body also serves as a vessel for spiritual growth. Focusing on higher aspirations is easier when you’re not weighed down by fatigue or poor health.

Practical Tips to Blend Fitness and Spirituality
  • Set Intentions: Begin your workouts with a simple intention, such as gratitude or focus.
  • Stay Consistent: Approach your routine as a sacred practice, showing up even when motivation wanes.
  • Incorporate Nature: Exercise outdoors to connect with the earth and breathe fresh air.
  • Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge small victories as reflections of your growing strength—inside and out.

By combining physical fitness with mindfulness and discipline, you’ll discover a deeper connection to your spirit, proving that strength isn’t just physical – it’s spiritual, too.

Try any form of exercise you enjoy and see the lift it gives you

 

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Celebrating Solo: How to Create a Meaningful Christmas for Yourself

For many, Christmas is a time of togetherness, but for some, it’s a day spent alone. If you’re facing a solo Christmas this year, I want you to know something: it doesn’t have to be lonely. It can be an opportunity to create meaningful, personal traditions that bring you joy and comfort.

Spending Christmas alone isn’t about what’s missing but what you can add to make the day uniquely yours. Let’s explore some ways to fill your Christmas with warmth and meaning.

Start with Intention

Think about how you want your Christmas to feel. Peaceful? Joyful? Restorative? Setting an intention for the day can help you choose activities that align with your desired day. You’re in charge here, so make it memorable.

Create Your Own Festive Rituals

Rituals don’t have to be grand to be meaningful. Perhaps you start the day with your favourite breakfast, complete with a cup of tea or coffee in your coziest mug. Light a candle, play soft music, or watch the sunrise. It’s about creating small moments that feel magical.

Do something festive, like decorating a tiny tree or setting out fairy lights. These little touches can transform your space and lift your spirits even if it’s just for you.

Cook a Meal You Love

Forget the traditional turkey if it doesn’t excite you. What’s your favourite meal? Cook it. Enjoy every bite. Maybe try a new recipe or indulge in something decadent you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Eating something you love is a simple yet powerful way to celebrate yourself.

Connect in Your Own Way

Being alone doesn’t mean you can’t connect. Reach out to a friend or family member for a chat, send heartfelt messages, or join an online event. Technology makes it easy to feel connected, even when miles apart.

Alternatively, connect with yourself. Write in a journal, reflect on the year, or meditate. Christmas can be a beautiful time to reconnect with your inner self.

Give Back to Yourself or Others

Acts of kindness, even small ones, can fill your heart with joy. Donate to a charity, write a kind note to a neighbour, or give yourself the gift of rest and relaxation. You deserve it.

End the Day with Gratitude

Take a moment to reflect on the small joys you created. Gratitude, even for tiny things like the glow of a candle or the taste of a warm drink, can shift your perspective and bring you peace.

Christmas alone isn’t something to fear. It’s a chance to discover the beauty of your own company and create traditions that are uniquely yours.

You are enough—and your day can be too.

 

Wishing you a Christmas full of love and light,
Alison Wem